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The falsehood of alienation and the pain of the homelands


“I still believe that a person does not die at once, but rather die in the manner of the parts. Whenever a friend departs, a part dies, and whenever a lover leaves us, a part dies, and whenever a dream of our dreams is killed a part dies, so the greatest death comes to find all the parts dead and he will carry it and leave” (Jibran Khalil Gibran ).

There is no hope of reading the previous lines, I thought a few years ago that it was merely the eloquence of the writer of Badi Al-Sulaika present, but it seems that what he wrote is not just letters and words matrix, but experiences of a cruel life dominated by farewell .. He is the son of the displaced who lived and suffered from the pain of loss and departure during Forty-eight years old, he lived a journey between his family members and loved ones.

What does absence do in us? We grow up every day and others expect us to stop crying ... to be more solid ... to become responsible ... to get used to being absent and leaving..but nobody told us how to stay alive while parts of us die every day ... loved ones die .. Friends go away and we are prevented from meeting our loved ones for many years because our homelands have uttered the corruption of their systems .. We remain facing our world alone in distant lands, while we must continue our paths with solidity and perseverance ..

In recent years, leaving is no longer an option, if we search, we will find that we live and our souls are separated between distant continents, and dozens of countries meet us between refugees, expatriates and fleeing .. And the hellest of those who can not return if they wish!

The phone applications bring us together through a bad video or audio connection. Most of his stories are misrepresented for bad service .. A dialogue that does not last long but ensures the discovery of time lines on our faces and the white color on our heads; to tell us that the gray is true to us prematurely .. This is if we can find a suitable time for us and for whom we talk to, Due to the difference in timing, priorities and daily details that do not stop ..

During the years of our residency in a country that does not resemble our country after those lean years that followed our Arab revolutions; nostalgia drives us to our homelands so we search for those who remind us of it .. we put solid molds from ourselves in the lives of others we have just met .. they did not share the game of hops, and we did not share our food with them In the school space, and they did not heal our wounds when the lover of the university deserted us .. They did not attend our wedding, and did not taste the holiday cakes in our homes ..

But we nonetheless draw our relationships with them, consolidate them to be an impervious bridge to the pains of the deadly alienation .. We invent events and celebrations similar to those we have entertained with our friends; we plot our dreams with them and leave our rope of hopes relaxed in public. That and we wait; then those ropes are cut one by one .. Despite all of this, we must remain calm and calm .. We are adults!

A one-way trip ... The road to the airports has become one of our repeated journeys ... It is not the same as it was previously to receive expatriates and reassure them that we carry the same accents, tales and jokes themselves ... Rather, it has all become farewell to them ... On one-way trip only ..

With our habit, we are now dealing with those moments that we spend on the road with a lot of absurdity and recklessness .. We talk about them in the problems of work and the beauty of winter, the voice of the singer who raises her voice in the car to tell us about her lost lover .. We ignore all that while another conflict we hide inside revolves. The traveler is far away and left in his estranged .. What will we do? What is the next step? What will life be like next? Are we going to start a journey to find new friends?

On the doorstep of the luxurious escalators that take us to the spacious travel hall, and on the impact of changing flight numbers; our heartbeats accelerate, while we try to restrain them and hold on to calm, and the role of the super hero who is no longer driven by the feelings of separation ..

The sane person who knows that the people here meet to say goodbye ... delude ourselves that we will meet despite the fact that the distance between the countries that harbor us and those where the departures land will be far from despair, and exceed our capabilities even to draw hope!

Next to the last point in which we are allowed to stay before the last peace, we join days that we shared between our arms .. We draw the alleged sword of courage in us and fight our weaknesses ... coalesce while we look away to conceal our greatest disappointment .. And after that gate - where each of us turns his back to the other - flows Tears alone break all these myths of strength and cohesion.

We cry a long time, while the kids are quietly patting our shoulders ... Where do the kids bring all this calm inside? Do you see them practice that their friends changed at the beginning of each year, or did they not try to hang up yet?

and what? On the way back, we think about the nature of the days after the departure: will we stay the same? We sleep and wake up to convince ourselves that we are fine, that there is something worth awakening early, and we spend long hours in our work; we distribute our laughter to strangers, and keep our smiles - at their widest - so that we can complete the hours of work.

Our eddies end and another circle begins in our narrow world. No mothers help in raising our young, no aunts argue about the braids of our young women, and they prevent punishment when the mothers get angry; and no grandfather tells the story of the naughty rabbit before bed, the ones that tell the youngsters about the best behavior they need to learn ..

We receive our children with all embrace of longing; we receive their questions and demands calmly, befitting parents who understand the psyche of their children, strangers like them, trying to compensate them in several ways, not including a warm family session in the presence of the three generations of the family ..

Parents understand and read theories of education and strive for a better future for their children. They choose to live in a distant country that is covered in snow for most of the year, but, despite its coldness, may give them warmth in the future with a strong citizenship, guaranteeing rights they will not obtain in their countries .. or another that burns their heat for most of the months of the year But it compensates them financially in a way that may help them improve their future after the loss of their young years there .. But before that everyone has to pay the price.

We listen to them and talk to them, and we apologize for the long absence and for our alienation from our countries that they may not have known well; those homelands that we love despite what they do in us .. we tell them about their beauty .. we flirt in their history .. we deny the sweetness of our days in them .. and we remain silent after long because We can no longer even visit her once every year.

We smile, organize our longings, and take them on a steady journey to closed shopping centers, where more aspects of life canned behind the windows of shops, just like those that cover most of the relationships around us .. They have fun in closed places to play with children they will not encounter them again, but they can enjoy with them with those The minutes needed for fun ..

So does alienation teach us to content ourselves with others and try to live on our own so that we do not experience more loss ... or do our young people tell us not to cling to anyone .. then we all leave.

Source: aljazeera

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