- This Friday is the feast of lovers.
- But for singles, this may be an opportunity to try to find love on dating sites.
- And for those over 50, there is a choice between generalist apps and apps dedicated to dating for quinquas and more.
As Valentine's Day approaches, many would like Cupid to shoot an arrow to help them find the person who will make their hearts beat. And because there is no age to suffer from celibacy, apps have been created specifically for people over 50 looking for love, like Disons Demain, Lumen or Club 50 More. And whatever its age, galley plans and beautiful surprises can be there.
So, apps for quinquas and more, what for? Why not settle for the - very many - already existing apps? Because there is a market to conquer of course! With more than 9 million singles over 50 in France alone, it was only a matter of time before entrepreneurial minds took over this niche to make it a thriving business.
A “common denominator” for “quality meetings”
Heavyweight in the sector, Meetic launched Disons Demain three years ago. “Meetic is the leader in the French dating site market, and Disons Demain was born out of an observation: dating sites and apps were aimed at young people and those over 50 were the forgotten ones of the dating market, explains Héloïse Des Monstiers, France director of the Meetic group. However, in France, there are 25 million single people, including a third who is over 50 years old. These singles do not necessarily want to date on the same dating sites as their children. And their expectations are not the same, she continues. You have to take into account their life course: some are divorced with children, others are widowed, still others have never been married, some are retired, others still in working life. There is not a homogeneous profile of single people over 50! "
And since the profiles are so varied, the key, "was to find the common denominator: these are singles who want to arrive quickly to a meeting, who believe mainly in great love, want to get together as a couple without necessarily living under the same roof, and with someone who has the same interests, decrypts Héloïse Des Monstiers. The most important thing here is to share good times, to have common tastes ”. A requirement in which Béatrice finds herself. “A friend helped me sign up for one of these apps,” she says. And if we answer the long questionnaire honestly, the affinities that we can discover in the profiles offered are really there, because common tastes are taken into account, "says Béatrice, who ended up" finding the person who suits me. ".
"Get out of our bubble"
But it is not always easy, when you have already had a long experience of the couple, to seek love again, moreover via an app! At 50 and "after twenty years of living together and separating", Philippe tried the adventure: "At the beginning, we are lost, we no longer know if we are able to please, to seduce, or even to be just noticed, ”he says. But, eager to make a nice meeting, the quinqua "conscientiously filled" his profile before launching. “The beginnings were painstaking, we send messages, mostly without response, and one day you are shown interest, then two. It restores confidence ”. For the quinqua, “these sites have the merit of taking us out of our bubble and our usual circle of acquaintances who are mostly in a relationship. For my part it worked! "
Same name and same effects, after 23 years of marriage and a divorce, another Philippe also “met someone extra thanks to an app. Otherwise, I would still be single! "Today," the quinquas are active, present on social networks, notes Véronique Kohn, psychotherapist specializing in couple relationships and author of What are you in love with? (éd Tchou). These apps meet a need, they are intended for singles whose network is tightened, whose circle of friends has fewer singles and offers fewer opportunities for new meetings, observes the psychotherapist. And like their younger siblings, the over 50s in turn seize this mode of meeting, which is becoming commonplace and becoming natural. For them too, it has become part of the customs. ”
More demanding singles
And even for people over 70, dating apps have become a must. Left by her husband for a younger woman after fifty years of marriage, Claudine wanted to deceive her solitude "on a site for seniors", but not at any cost. She wanted to meet someone who had the same outlook on life as she did. “After some fruitless discussions, I met the right one: same age, same social background, same level of education. We liked it at first sight, she remembers. After two years of relationship, everyone lives at home, but we are still together and in love, we see each other regularly and organize our leisure time together ”.
A successful “match” for Claudine. “At this point in their lives, we know their expectations, and although the meeting takes place online first, we realize that the criteria we set remain the same: we want to meet someone who has the same social status, who adheres to the same values and who has common interests ”, summarizes Véronique Kohn. Would apps targeting quinquas and more be aimed at more demanding singles? "Yes, many have already had a life before and today have a busy life, and want to get back in a relationship without upsetting their whole life," confirms Héloïse Des Monstiers, director of Disons Demain. And three years after its creation, the dating site has found its audience, it currently has 1.3 million subscribers, 52% of whom are women and 48% men.
"Know how to persevere"
Catherine did not have the same luck. At 53, "rather pretty and interesting", she had "nice meetings", but "definitively stopped looking for love on the Internet", believing that for men registered on these apps, "finally, everything revolves around sex again and again. " Like her, Sylvie confirms that “this approach does not suit her. Getting an idea from a photo and a few messages is very tricky. And for me as for my girlfriends, the experience is the same: a collection of rabbits and one-night shots, until our account is closed ”.
For couple specialist Véronique Kohn, “you also have to be aware of what you can expect from dating apps, and their limits. As in "real life", you don't meet the right person the first time. Many patients tell me that they unsubscribed after two or three unsuccessful appointments. But it's like recruiting: if you want to have a good meeting, you have to know how to persevere! "
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