On Wednesday, in the program "Sans Rendez-Vous", on Europe 1, the sexologist Catherine Blanc responds to a listener who says practicing sex with her partner virtually without penetration. Which can be problematic, she says.

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>> Sexuality does not necessarily rhyme with penetration. A listener thus testifies to the fact that she practiced almost exclusively masturbation with her companion, met in high school. For our sexologist Catherine Blanc, columnist in the show Sans Rendez-Vous, on Europe 1, sexuality without coitus can still be problematic, if it hides hidden fears.

The question of Carole, 35 years old

"Together with my husband, we met in high school, and since then we have built our sexuality mainly on mutual masturbations or side by side, penetration is only very rare, whereas lately I have been talking about it naturally. friends, they seemed to find that very weird, what do you think? "

Catherine Blanc's answer

"Obviously, it's a question, what makes you masturbate and you do not penetrate?" The interest is to avoid coitus, with all that it represents cumbersome for one or the other, or difficulties, or difficulties of enjoyment Because often, in the couple, each separately, before meeting, had a ritual masturbation, a good knowledge of his masturbation and pleasure felt.

If the coitus did not bring the same answers, the same facilities, they prefer to bring pleasure, so they go where it is the fastest to get their pleasure. And then, suddenly, they lock up a little relationship in there. Then a little bit a lot. And coitus becomes something rather of sidelined, because it confronts them, in a certain way, with their impotence of the jouissance or their capacity to give it.

So this is a problem, this lack of penetration?

Of course coitus is not obligatory. Simply, to reduce one's sexuality to masturbation, is to reduce one's sexuality to the knowledge that one has since one's child. So there is something childish enough to stay on that.

And then, there is something that can not be completed. It's also a denial of our specificities. Nesting is also doing with what we are lacking, and suddenly looking for what is missing in the other to recreate this crazy fantasy that is to want to do one being completed by the other .

There can be a lot of things behind that: a sexuality that has not allowed itself to become mature, a fear of the consequences of penetration, namely a baby, a fear also for the man to feel stuck, castrated, symbolically of course. Once again, everyone builds the relationship as they want, but you have to be vigilant. "