Tuesday, in the show "Without Rendez-Vous" on Europe 1, the sexologist Catherine Blanc responds to a listener who is worried about the difference between his behavior released in bed and that of his spouse, more "classic".

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Spankings, raw words, accessories, extravagant positions ... The common point of these elements? They can sometimes be enjoyed by one member of the couple when the other will not really appreciate them, or even want to hear about them. To be very liberated or to be classical is the question that should be solved to have a happy tandem in bed? At the microphone of Nathalie Gomez, in Sans Rendez-vous , on Europe 1, the sexologist Catherine Blanc concedes that it is "delicate" to free himself in his fantasies within the couple.

Benjamin's question

I met my companion a few months ago, everything is perfect, I'm in love, the only downside is what happens in bed: I find it very classic whereas I like raw words and spanking, for example. What should I do ?

Catherine Blanc's answer

In the first few months of a relationship, we do not dare to liberate ourselves too much because we do not really know how the other person considers us and how he will love us or consider us if we start to reveal more intimate things about ourselves. or more staggered. Obviously, it is always delicate but it is also delicate when the couples are older, because the more the time lasts, the more one could release the speech but the more one frees the word and the other one is entitled to ask itself why these desires emerge. Did he or did he meet someone? It's always difficult to talk about your privacy.

How to spice up a little sex?

It's not getting stuck not to participate in the same fantasies as the other. The two are perhaps in the difficulty of revealing themselves: there is the one who questions us, he gives us his fantasmatic when the other is perhaps only in the idea he has of what It must be, so it is always difficult to know what is in everyone's head.

Spanking and raw words are two things that can be related or not at all. In one case, raw words are used to describe a kind of aggressiveness, freedom from this aggression, this outlaw, by putting words that are non-lovers and seeing that the attachment is towards and against everything.

For spanking, in everyone's imagination, this may be the punishment but it may also be a more animal way. Spanking can be considered violent. It is according to the passive of everyone: someone who has been hit is not going to consider spanking in the same way. Moreover, it can precisely integrate in the sexuality the spanking because it participates of the report to the other initial, or on the contrary to flee like the plague such an act because it would be something of extremely humiliating.

Why does spanking please?

I think there's something fun about bouncing your hand over the biggest muscle in the body, there's a special sound and an idea of ​​runaway like you're hitting the rump of one of a horse going off at a gallop. There is an animal imaginary, but not only: with children, we like to tap their layers. We like the idea of ​​this nice dominant position and this freedom offered to the other. Some people just like to receive it because it is a kind of invitation to the runaway and others on the contrary especially not because a spanking would be on the contrary a punishment or a submission.