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If we often talk about women's low libido, this also concerns men. Monday, in Sans Rendez-Vous , the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc explains why they can also not feel desire and what to do (or not) to overcome this deficit.
Nathalie's question
"My husband has a libido that is not very abundant.Do I have to redouble preliminaries, staging to stimulate it?"
Catherine Blanc's answer
"Of course, men experience the same highs and lows as women at the level of their desires.While women can hide it, with a participation in spite of everything to sexuality, men without erection can not hide it.
This is easily explained: fatigue, concerns elsewhere. To make love, to have desire, one must have a project of sexuality, of relationship. One can have doubts about oneself, a feeling of inferiority, to live painful moments where one is sent back to a negative image of oneself, or conflicts in the couple. It can also be the anxiety of making love or the situation that is inadequate.
The mistake is to think that it's a story of aging. As you get older, a lot of problems, especially vascular problems, can cause erectile difficulty. This is not to say a drop in libido elsewhere. But it's enough to be jostled emotionally to make it all disorganized. And young men are so affected.
Fellatio, as Romain Gary said, is by no means a method of resuscitation. The other must be allowed to have his body react as he reacts. Of course there can be a story of stimulation, but it's also a story of relationship. There is no responsibility to look for, it is not the fault of one or the other. This responsibility is joint, since it is a relationship. "