Roxeanne Hazes does not shun the difficult moments in life in her texts. The singer tells in conversation with that she likes to torment herself when writing songs.

"That you come home with stomach ache, because you went back so deep in your feeling; I really like that," said 26-year-old Hazes, who is in a sold-out Paradiso in Amsterdam on Friday. Her new song Kapot is about a lost love and Mama was a bastard about her rugged past.

"I give everything away in my songs, I don't shy away from anything. I like to write about bloody things: there is something destructive in me and I can really relax in it. I can write about it better than happiness. I think this is the Hazes DNA. "

Hazes: "I have a backpack with sorrow and by sometimes taking things out of it and sharing it with others, I think I can also help people a little. That I can show them that everyone knows difficult periods. Everyone only shares the beautiful things, but in my eyes sadness and vulnerability cannot be shared enough. "

Singer received letters from listeners

The singer notices that the listeners of her songs can appreciate that too. For example, she received letters and messages from women when she released I was your girl . In those messages, the women said that they had long had doubts about their relationship, but that they actually dared to put an end to this number.

"I like the fact that I have the freedom to talk about difficult topics in my songs. It's kind of like sending your diary into the world. That's scary, but also very special, because people can feel strengthened by what you write. As I had with a Lana Del Rey song after a relationship break, they have it with my music. "

"I should have stayed close to myself"

The fact that Hazes writes easily about her heartache does not mean that she knows no uncertainty. For example, she rewrites songs dozens of times and extracts different elements from a song that must change every moment. Even if a song has already been released, something is sometimes changed.

" Mama was a bastard was refused at some radio stations, because the word 'bastard' she went too far. Then I recorded another version: Mama was a drama. That was once, but never again. The song was good as it was and I should have left it at that. But at that moment it felt like a right decision. I sometimes tend to listen too much to others, while actually I should stay close to myself. "

The singer is just coarser than some people can appreciate. "I often call abusive words, but that is also part of me. So that is also part of a song. The only reason why I am going to pay attention to my words now is because I do not want Fender (Hazes' son, ed.) To that I cried out very loudly at the age of three, I would rather not see my son again. "