Wednesday, in "Without appointment", on Europe 1, the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine White evokes fears and reasons that may explain why some women are waiting to find Prince Charming to have sex.

Do I have to wait to fall madly in love to have sex? Quit waiting for many years before falling in love with someone? On Wednesday, in Sans rendez-vous, the program Santé d'Europe 1, the psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc took a look at a question that many women are asking themselves.

The question of Charlotte, 34

I do not want a relationship that does not have value and therefore waiting for the evidence of love at first sight. My friends tell me that it is illusory whereas I realize that without, the relations go nowhere.

Catherine Blanc's answer

Obviously, it belongs to him. One has the right to say to oneself also "I do not want excellence or nothing at all". That being said, we can miss many things since the excellence of the relationship is built. It's not a perfect person - which refers you to the fact that you're not - but can come in like that. Moreover, the concept of love at first sight, it is very pretty, very romantic but as the name suggests, it is love at first sight. In general, one is KO. The love at first sight is quite incredible, which is that, suddenly, someone who, 30 seconds before did not exist or was transparent, becomes obvious. And with the feeling that there is a perfect connection between himself and this other, who also ignores, for his part, that it is love at first sight. Unless it is shared. This raises the question: what problem would there be to build the relationship, including around sexuality, to build the relationship? Why sexuality can not develop, can it be fulfilled only to the extent that it is with an exceptional person? Is there a fear of being suddenly in something trivial that would be sexuality and that needs to be particularly haloed with love and reciprocal feelings.

Do many women find themselves alone, precisely because they are waiting for this love at first sight?

It is especially that it is to wait. What would make a woman can not be proactive in her bond to another? The love at first sight comes from the passage of a man who makes a self-evident inside. This is what women often expect in their sexuality. They think that a penis will penetrate them and that suddenly, something will happen while all the others have done nothing in them. As if they had no involvement in this desire to create the link and in this desire to create pleasure in them. So, indeed, it hides something else, which is the difficulty to welcome modesty to have in this welcome that is to say, its quiet progression, its peaceful development, in this way of offering itself to the other or to welcome each other quietly to create something that becomes more and more internal bubbling and potential pleasure. Indeed, many are completely reserved and forbidden, hoping that the magic wand, without pun intended, comes from a formidable penis.

Does Charlotte finally, do not deprive of sex that could be quite nice in the meantime?

Maybe the pleasurable sexual relationship does not make sense to her, because she may see something of the action of a woman of little virtue. Which is not the case. Everyone has his modesty, his culture, as to sexuality. And that begs the question of why we experience sexuality, and especially female sexuality, as being something almost dirty or not good, unless it was in an extremely amorous setting, a kind of evidence, a kind of divine finger that indicates two people to unite in an obvious way. It may be a way of getting rid of one's amorous impulse.

Why attach so much to love at first sight?

I very often hear people say to me "it was love at first sight and it was gone as quickly as love at first sight fell". While relationships are built by saying "oh well, it's a good friend, it's nice" and finally things are built as obvious as if, indeed, it was difficult to lift the veil as to look that we put on the other. Sometimes it takes time and that is the delicate thing that anchors the relationship. Indeed, love at first sight is absolutely not a guarantee of relational quality.