Every Sunday of the summer, Europe 1 answers your most intimate questions in its health magazine, from 10am to 11am.

Every Sunday this summer, starting at 10 am, find on Europe 1 your health magazine presented by Mélanie Gomez. Sexuality, feelings, personal fulfillment ... Catherine Blanc, sexologist and psychoanalyst in Paris, responds without taboo to the more or less intimate question of a listener (ice). Find his sexo advice of the day:

The question of Aurélie, in a relationship for 18 years

"After several years of marriage, we are always happy and in love, but our sexual intercourse has spread widely over the years, and today we do not have sex until once a month, sometimes less. normal? "

Catherine Blanc's answer

"Is it normal from a physiological point of view, is it normal from a societal point of view?" If we question the couples, we realize, indeed, that there is less sexual desire with the time, which does not mean that there is no feasibility.) Aurélie must ask herself what is normal for her, in relation to her own desire.Maybe she has desire and [...] that the couple does not interact as it wishes.

You have to understand how desire works. There is a hormonal impregnation, testosterone is the cause of desire. Women are more sensitive: they need less testosterone to be as active in sex as men. However, there is also a relationship story. What arouses desire is the desire to attach the other to oneself, to create intimacy, it is the desire to be indispensable for the other. This is the reason why, in a beginning of relationship, one is extremely active, even if for some the sexuality is not a primordial subject, this moment remains a moment of anchorage.

Once the relationship is anchored, those who are less interested in sexuality end up deserting the relationship a little because there are other priorities for them. In order for sexuality to last long, it must be reinvented, which does not mean having fine parts or naughty positions. It's about not being carried away by the wave. At first, there is a desire that is carried by worry; the worry of not counting for the other, the anxiety not to attach the other to oneself. We play over-multiplicity, we overplay even our possibilities. Over time, we end up forgetting to play, that is to say, to write the relationship. [...]

Sexuality is playful, it is not a serious story, a storm under a skull. It is something of the order of the (re) discovery of oneself and the other. The mistake of couples is to think that they know each other by heart. [...] The couples meet with a way of approaching each other and then we evolve, we grow, we mature, we disinhibit on certain things, we learn others. There are things we would like to live, but as we have been modeled, for fear of destabilizing the relationship, we remain metronomically in the same domain, which makes the relationship deserotic. "