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How to get something good out of sadness
People don't realize how
toxic
it is not to talk about something and not normalize it." Says the model
Lucía Rivera
, daughter of Blanca Romero and Cayetano Rivera, who knows it well because she has been fighting
depression
for years , the monster that He has been stalking her since she was just a little girl.
Now he is starting to come out of it, in part because he has decided to tell it and tear down the perfect image that fame usually imposes.
"I go to
therapy
once a week, I read a lot of
psychology
books and I try to make it as visible as possible on networks," she explains.
That is why it has also been the protagonist of a meeting for
mental health
framed in Maybelline New York's 'Brave Together' initiative, launched to sensitize and educate the youngest about diseases such as anxiety or
stress
, which according to figures from The World Health Organization (WHO) currently affect 10% of those under 30 years of age in the world.
As if it were a group therapy and to talk about mental health from her own experience, with Lucía Rivera were the singers
Rayden
and
Ricky Merino,
the influencer
Rosario Matew
and the writer
Valeria Vegas.
"We all understand each other a little bit," says Lucía, because everyone has gone through the same thing as her.
That is why they were honest with the psychologist
Bárbara Tovar
, an expert in anxiety and also present at the meeting.
"I have grown up in a family that has always had problems with
depression
," says Lucía, "it affects many more people than it seems. Anyone has
anxiety
right now, in a world as
frenetic
as this one, in which we live the day fully active, with cell phones and constant stimuli..., everything goes very fast and anxiety increases".
And so much so, because it is a disorder that has exploded among the
youngest,
although only 20% of those who suffer from it give it a name and treat it.
"80% of the children who manifest
anxiety
do not go to a professional, they drag the problem as they can. That generates conflicts for adults that have not been resolved and that condition them. You have to take care of it in time, to find a friendly solution. But without an
emotional education
, it is not possible", explains Bárbara Tovar.
That is the serious
mistake
that conditions us from school.
"As children we are not told that this exists, everything is vetoed. We ourselves do not give it
naturalness
because it is not something that they have taught us. And that
marginalizes
us . I have suffered from anxiety since I was a child, and to this day I still do not know what is to live without
anxiety
," says Lucía Rivera.
normalize depression
"As a child I was an
outcast
, perhaps a weirdo, because of my life in general. And because I had
anxiety
, I used to cry in class, I fell asleep... We are marginalized because we have never been taught how to treat those who have this problem And you have to learn to do it, if they don't give us some keys it's very difficult to normalize the situation. The question is knowing how to treat and being treated, "says Lucía.
And how do you do that?
"It is very important that we allow ourselves to be
vulnerable
, we must stop chasing perfection, which is absolutely imperfect, and understand that in life there is pleasure and
failure
, happiness and pain. And stop labeling situations as good or bad, because they depend on how we deal with them. We have to be a more compassionate and
empathetic
society , so that people who suffer from depression feel less judged and in a safer environment," answers psychologist Bárbara Tovar.
Lucía confesses that she is still learning to be
self
-compassionate with herself.
"When I started in
therapy
I thought I had a wonderful relationship with myself, that I loved myself very much... Now I am realizing that I am my own worst
enemy
. Every time I do something that is outside of what I should do, I blame myself, And I'm thinking about things that don't make any sense. I think it's a mixture of anxiety,
guilt
and demand. "
Questions like why did I eat a croquette yesterday if I have a casting today?
or why did I go out partying last night?
assures that they have made a ball of situations without major importance.
It is one of the fundamental problems of
anxiety
, explains the psychologist.
"When the enemy is external, you can
block
him and take distance, but when he resides in you, he accompanies you
24 hours
a day , and you also do not question him, because you are not aware of the damage he does to you and you get used to going through life with him. ".
GTRES
Break the wall of invisibility
Now Lucía is in favor of breaking the wall behind which mental health problems hide.
But it was not always like this;
there was a time when she disappeared from
social networks
, and she would have liked to disappear from the media as well.
"For me they have meant a brutal massacre, they have talked about my life, they have lied..., and that has hurt me a lot."
And although her networks have sometimes generated "a lot of
frustration
", they have also helped her.
It was difficult for him to decide to tell his problem, because he thought that he would only get to sink even more -"When a person is at home and cannot even get up, as I have been, anything
affects
him ", he confesses-, but to his surprise everything happened on the contrary, he received "a lot of encouragement".
humanize
, and then it's easier for things to go down," he explains.
At this point another issue appears:
'digital hygiene'
and the need to disconnect.
"When I need it, I go to Asturias, with my
family
. Many people are surprised that I don't have famous friends, influencers, singers... But if I did, at what point could I run away from my professional life? I want one more life normal, that something sticks to me... I stay with my little group of
friends
forever".
They are, as he says, "his five
untouchables
", his greatest
resilience
and whom he always wants close, so much so that one of them even lives in his own building.
Another of his escape valves is
crying
.
"It's very difficult for me to cry, but I would love to do it more; there are times when I want to
cry
and I can't, but I think it's something we should
normalize
. That 'don't cry' thing that men have always been told so that don't express your feelings is nothing but
toxic masculinity
."
And let's also normalize "that women can become even
mediocre
if we feel like it", adds the lawyer and communicator
Inés Hernand,
in charge of leading the meeting, because self-
demand in certain industries -'Like the canons of beauty', points out
Lucía-
takes its toll, "and you don't have to be afraid of getting old or failing one day".
In this sense, as vital tools to take care of our emotional health, the psychologist
Bárbara Tovar
highlights how important it is to "know how to
take care
of yourself , know who you are and know how to
celebrate
it ".
And learn to
accept
the things that we like less about ourselves, "that are less lovable, but it's also me."
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