4 Things Parents Do That Cause Kids To Behave Unacceptably

Behavior is the outer layer of what happens emotionally to children, and the younger they are, the more real this is, because they develop their abilities to express emotions more appropriately as they grow up.

So, according to Parents, if we could focus on what might be the basis of the behavior and address it, we would feel much better than the constant yelling that made things worse.

Targeting specific behaviors

When you are trying to manage your child's behavior, it is helpful to identify the behaviors that you are trying to change or encourage them to continue.

It is true that sometimes every behavior of a son may seem to be a struggle in and of itself, but you must still identify certain behaviors as an important first step toward effective discipline.

Taking behaviors one at a time with the goal of addressing them allows you to be more focused, to better understand why the behavior is occurring, and to have a greater sense of control.

Of course, there may be many behaviors that you would like to change, but assessing them one by one is very important.

According to the Childmind Institute;

The target behaviors must be specific, observable and measurable, meaning that everyone agrees on defining the behavior if it is good or bad.

The specific behavior would be for example that running across the room is bad behavior, while starting homework on time is good behavior, and so on.

before the bad behavior occurs

When you think about a specific behavior that you aim to treat in your child, it is important to think about what is generally happening before that behavior, as this may be what motivates your child to behave unacceptably.

This helps parents understand not only why the child is behaving inappropriately, but also how to avoid certain stimuli, and may help prevent these behaviors from occurring.

Parents can also focus on identifying the stimuli that increase the likelihood of positive behaviors, as supporting these stimuli will lead to an increase in positive behaviors in general.

Children may not know what is expected of them, even if you assume they do (Getty Images)

Things that often lead to misbehavior:

They don't understand your requests:

Children may not know what is expected of them, even if you assume they do.

The demands change from situation to situation and when children are not sure what they are supposed to do, they are more likely to misbehave.

Saying things from a distance:

Tell your children important instructions when you are face to face.

Directions shouted from a distance are poorly likely to be remembered and understood.

Switching from one thing to another without warning:

Shifts can be difficult for kids, especially if they're in the middle of doing something they enjoy.

But when they are alerted well in advance and given the opportunity to stop playing and start assignments for example, it can lead to them listening to instructions.

Offer quick questions or give a series of instructions

Giving a series of questions or instructions makes children less likely to hear, answer questions, remember tasks, and do what they are instructed to do.

Things that can promote good behavior:

Environmental modification,

i.e. managing environmental and emotional factors that can make it more difficult to rein in children's behaviour.

Like feeling hungry, tired, anxious or having distractions.

When it's time for homework, for example, remove distractions like screens and games, offer snacks, create an organized place to work for the kids, and make sure you schedule some breaks.

Clarify expectations:

You and your child should be clear about what is expected of them.

Even if he knows what to do, clarifying expectations at the beginning of the task helps avoid misunderstandings in the future.

Provide a countdown to the transition from one command to the next:

Prepare the children to move on to the next task as often as possible, for example, give them an alert that in 10 minutes it will be bedtime, dinner time, or homework.

Then remind them again when there are only two minutes left.

Letting Children Choose:

As children grow, it is important that they have a say in the agenda they are doing, as giving them a clear choice is “Do you want to shower after dinner or before dinner?”

It can help them feel empowered and encourage them to become self-organised.

You and your child should be clear about what is expected of them (Shutterstock)

After the behavior occurs

Thinking about what happens after a child performs unacceptable behavior that is intended to be treated or changed;

This is important, because the consequences can affect the likelihood that the behavior will be repeated.

The consequences of behaviors help children understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviours.

Therefore, determine the appropriate punishment for disruptive behavior or the reward that your son prefers for good behavior, with the need to commit to implementing this so as not to lose credibility with your child.