Their relationship continues under one roof for some reason, which may be children, or the preservation of social shape in front of the family, and this is emotional divorce: a partnership under one roof between spouses.
Despite their presence in a single spatial space, there is a wide distance between them that prevents psychological integration. The story is harsh: the details of homes open to the emptiness of feelings and complete silence, and the lack of affection and compassion on which a healthy and healthy married life is based.
How emotional separation affects young people?
How does it make them lose friendliness in dealing with others, and lead them to sharpness, cruelty, and refusal to communicate?
The inheritance of the emotional emptiness of the children is a result of the separation of the relationship between the parents, which negatively affects the sibling relationship between the children and leads them in the future to live towards the dry and emotionally empty lifestyle of their parents.
This has a negative societal impact.
Al Jazeera Net reviews some real stories of emotional divorce for husbands and wives who live in a state of physical and psychological estrangement from each other after the death of their feelings despite the years of marriage.
Stress and financial problems are among the most important reasons behind an emotional divorce (Pixabay)
Physical problems
Haytham Marish says, married and father of a child, "Stress and financial problems may be one of the most important causes of emotional divorce, as life pressures and burdens force each of the spouses to be preoccupied with financial aspects, and how to manage household matters, especially in light of the presence of a child who has his expenses, and the budget for the month and housekeeping is one of the most important The problems that force the husband and wife to think about themselves without paying attention to emotions and what the other party needs. "
He explains his situation with sorrow, "The quarrels increased and the requirements increased and carried me beyond my power, which led to permanent alienation and quarrels, and even the absence of privacy and the details of our marital life became vulnerable to its people and their constant interference to the point of the absence of dialogue and understanding, all of which led to emotional distaste that threatens married life and lack of harmony, and these are indicators of our emotional divorce and our separation Despite the presence of our son in our life, but it is necessary to be patient and calm things down. Marriage needs a strong man in every sense of the word and a rational person who is aware of the requirements of married life. "
And he ends by saying, "The blame lies on us as a husband and wife, and we are supposed to hold together and adopt the language of dialogue in a calm and good manner, restore warmth to married life and solve all problems to eliminate emotional apathy between us, and this is what I try to achieve to maintain a happy family."
Marish: Marriage needs a strong man in every sense of the word and a rational person who is aware of the requirements of marital life (Al-Jazeera)
Family tradition forbade divorce
Carolina Saba says to Al-Jazeera Net, who is married and has a daughter, "My husband broke our promises and insulted our lives with his foreign relations. When I related to him, I did not know that he would not protect our home and preserve my dignity, and I discovered that he was following his whims, thinking that I would not know about his heinous deeds, but I was not unaware." Or little awareness of what he is committing behind me, and when I confronted him, he admitted that he did not feel with me the feelings that he wanted, but he does not think about divorcing me, because we are from well-known families, in which there was no divorce before.
"I agreed, of course, for fear of bearing an absolute title, and lest I be labeled the failure of my marital life, and being subjected to gossip and accusations, and we lived together pretending to be happy and harmonious in front of everyone, but as soon as the door of our house closes, each of us goes to sleep in a separate room, and we do not chat at all. And despite the passage of many years since our marital status, we are still as we are in a state of complete psychological and physical separation, and therefore I do not pay attention to him, and I do not rise up in anger when I know about any relationship with him, and I may not remember his presence at home.
Impact on children
And about the impact of this situation on their daughter, she says, "My daughter was greatly affected by the constant disagreements between us and living as a stranger, and I found myself obliged to raise her alone as if the father did not exist in her life, and even she felt alienated from him and his actions despite my attempt to convince her to the contrary, but the blame is on him because he did not initiate proximity Unfortunately for his daughter, which increased the gap between them. "
Saba reiterated that she lives with her husband due to the prohibition of family and social traditions - which she lives in - the idea of separation and actual divorce, but this type of divorce is destructive and cannot be declared publicly, so it remains more painful, according to her saying.
Family Relations Consultant Hoteit: The need for a language of dialogue and understanding between the spouses and to reach a solution that satisfies both parties (Al-Jazeera)
A common phenomenon
Suzan Hoteit, a consultant in family relations and a human development trainer, confirms that emotional divorce has become the most common phenomenon at the present time, as the inability to understand between spouses and the lack of feelings between them all reflect negatively on the children who suffer from emotional deprivation and love, in addition to isolation and loss of self-confidence, and all of that. Expose them to mental illness.
She attributes this phenomenon in our societies to several reasons, including the attachment of husbands to the family institution to preserve their social appearance on the one hand and to protect their children from being lost on the other hand, and the goal of husbands from resorting to emotional separation is to escape from the title of "absolute" and to protect children from loss, homelessness and disintegration. Family.
Pressures and priorities
According to Hoteit, the spouses should talk to each other and try to reach deep inner feelings, and taking into account this need is the best treatment to get rid of emotional divorce, as sometimes this feeling is present, but the unwillingness to express it stands as a barrier to the actual help of the spouses.
She explains that the most important reasons that lead to emotional separation are the material pressures that spouses are exposed to in their lives, so you find them preoccupied with securing household and children's supplies, gradually moving away from everything that fuels passion, without their attention.
Among the important reasons is also mis-setting priorities, by preferring others over a life partner, with different interests, beliefs, goals, and cultural and social levels between spouses.
In the event that the spouses reach a dead end in which they cannot understand, then divorce is the solution (communication sites)
Tips
The Consultant in Family Relationships and the Human Development Trainer believes that the treatment for this phenomenon does not succeed with every couple, but there is some hope to achieve it by following these methods, the most important of which are:
Increasing frankness and clarity between spouses, and trying to understand the other through his rights, duties, feelings, thoughts, fears and problems.
Breaking the daily routine and trying new things in life, even if it is very simple and inexpensive.
A language of dialogue and understanding between spouses, and always working to reach a solution that satisfies all parties in the event of problems, because screaming, noise and quarrels all lead to emotional divorce.
The spouses should not be shy and go to family counseling centers for the purpose of successful attempts and to seek advice, provided that it is with the consent of both parties, and if the matter does not succeed, the actual divorce is the most appropriate for the spouses and children.
The last solution to get out of this phenomenon is by adopting an official divorce in the event that the spouses reach a dead end that cannot reconcile them.
And concludes by saying, "God Almighty made marriage affection, tranquility and tranquility, and if this comfort is absent, the defect occurs in the family institution, and nothing remains in front of the spouses except the most hated of the lawful."