"Microcosmote God of inquiries": the greatest insults of the geniuses of literature

We decidedly miss it. Inflammed by rage we do not meditate a second the perfect insult to utter immediately and sink our adversary. And, of course, what happens, that we always stay in the manids and ramplones "asshole", "subnormal", "bastard", etc.

Yes, we must recognize that with the "son of a bitch" your mouth is full, besides being efficient, but we do not take advantage of all the richness and charisma of our vocabulary. Therefore, nothing better than reviewing the best insults and reprocesses elaborated and raised by great writers, the owners and lords of the word (even to give birth).

William Shakespeare, "The Bastard Bard"

"You speak an infinite amount of nothing" ( The Merchant of Venice )

Ideal to attack the politician on duty when he stops to catch air at that rally that has been prepared so much in front of the mirror.

"He has more hair than talent, and more defects than hair, and more wealth than defects" ( Dos Caballeros de Verona )

It amazes all the uneducated ones of the hair with this insult while you make time turning pages of the Hello! Until your turn comes.

"I wish we were the best strangers"

I hope you don't have to hear it at your next Tinder date.

"You are a tumor, a sore that suppurates, an inflamed ulcer in my corrupted blood" ( King Lear )

Whisper it in your child's ear the day you wake up explicitly and revealing because of his cries.

Miguel de Cervantes, "El Chungo de Alcalá"

"Traitor, decomposed, villain, infamous, unleavened, daring, unhappy, cursed, scoundrel, rustic, patán, spoiled, beautiful, sly, goofy and smelly" ( Don Quijote de La Mancha )

When your partner does not pass you playing soccer, someone gets in your tail or your dear cat scratches you for no reason.

"Oh bad squire, pitcher's soul, heart of cork oak, pebbly and hearty guts! .. Thief, skinning, ... enemy of mankind!" ( Don Quixote de La Mancha )

Specifically for when your partner continues to watch a series without you.

"Césco de date" ( Don Quijote de La Mancha )

Totally versatile improper. Effective in all types of situations. Attack with him who makes too much noise when chewing or who breaks you, parking, the rearview mirror of the car.

Luis de Góngora "The Yoyas Cordobés"

"Evil will forgive you the hours, the hours that are filing the days, the days that gnawing are the years"

When you follow an acquaintance on Instagram and he doesn't follow you.

"Lend it to my blind eye for a while"

Gongora refers here, in a brilliant metaphor of the Golden Age, to his eyelet. You can use, as an elevated substitute for anus, "blind eye". It works and is very hidden. Example: "That they give you the blind eye", "Eat me the blind eye", "You have the blind eye more open than the compass of an engineer".

Francisco de Quevedo "Knight of the Order of Santiago and the Rosalia of the XVII"

"Just man"

Subtle way of attacking, on nudist beaches, those gifted with the gift of the micropenis or to adject that poor male who does not comply with the "male" clichés, such as guessing what happens to the car just by raising the hood or staying in House throwing belly in front of a western movie.

"Microcosmote God of inquiries"

When your favorite striker of the Greek national team does not score a goal.

"Your outsider is so exotic ..."

When the people of the town next door come to the parties of your town to continually ask you for the ice in your bottle, to try to get your little sister to dance and to get angry when the mobile disc ends.

"Once upon a superlative nose"

Only in case the one in front of the bathroom has gotten the line of cocaine that touched you.

Oscar Wilde "The Irish Blasphemer"

"I never saw anyone take so much time to dress, and with so little result" ( The importance of being called Ernest ).

If you do not use this phrase with each of the attendees of a wedding to which you have been forced to go, you are wasting your time and the opportunity to show disgust at having to drop the hundred turkeys for your cover.

JD Salinger, "JoDer Salinger"

"All fools hate when you call them a fool" ( The Guardian Among the Rye ).

Final phrase in any Internet forum and pundonor at the end of spitting blood after the beating that has given you the security of the place to go ready.

JK Rowling, "Fucking King Rowling"

"Just because you have the emotional rank of a spoon does not mean that we are all equal" ( The Order of the Phoenix )

When your partner breaks your special edition of Lego of the Millennium Falcon mounted with all the love and complains that you cry enraged lying in the middle of the room.

Edgar Allan Poe, "The Echacuervos"

"You are the quintessence of all that is abominable!" ( The lost breath )

When someone says you throw your hair forward to cover your tickets.

According to the criteria of The Trust Project