This Wednesday in "Sans Rendez-vous", Catherine Blanc responds to Jérôme, 32, a very shy man who cannot reach out to women in society.

For the sexologist and psychoanalyst, this comes in part from her vision of the role of man. 

Unhealthy shyness can be a real poison in romantic relationships.

This is what Jérôme, 32, lives through, who does not dare to approach women in society.

He is thinking about registering on a dating app but has a bad image.

In S

years Rendezvous

this Wednesday, the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc reassures him by explaining that he is not the only one having difficulties to "approach" women, and that dating sites can be a good tool .

But this should not be an end in itself. 

Jerome's question

"I am 32 years old and I am still single. The problem is that I never manage to approach girls in bars or on the street: I am too shy. I even hesitate to register on dating apps but I have a bad image of these tools. What do you think? "

Catherine Blanc's response

"Shyness is marvelous with parsimony. It allows you to be all your own, to your modesty ... But in Jerome's case, it completely prevents the link to the other, it restricts his momentum. incapacity to act and I would even say that the more the incapacity there is, the more this bubbling desire is perceived as something suspicious and guilty which will ultimately create increased shyness. true vicious circle.  

But don't you have to approach a woman in the street to seduce? 

No, but it is certainly the representation that he has of what a man should be, while being aware that he does not succeed and that he is not up to his 'Superman' who dare.

Suddenly he becomes entangled completely and he is in difficulty.

The reality is, it's hard for any of us to approach someone we don't know, even though that woman might be interested because she finds him to her liking.

Because it is also difficult for the person who is approached. 

So even if it is desirable, it deserves to know a little more.

And when you approach a little savagely like that someone in the street, you are not in the best conditions.  

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Are Dating Sites a Good Solution? 

It may be a plus, but the difficulty then is to go face-to-face.

We can then find ourselves in a situation where shyness takes over and in fact be very different from the man we were via messages.

It's interesting to get started, but the less spontaneity they write, the more complicated the meeting.

However, the very timid are in control and establish on these sites extremely controlled relationships, which are the opposite of what will happen in reality.   

If it is through the applications that he will perhaps meet a woman, it is in any case in the relations with the latter that he will learn how they work.

This will allow him to relax in this exchange between men and women.

And then he can also think about the origin of his fear, to understand why he does not feel up to it.

But here we are more in a therapeutic framework. "