Now that many people are working from home, chances are that your partner has suddenly become your office partner. How do you keep it cozy all these weeks?
Together at the kitchen table sounds very nice and romantic, but what if you are forced to do so by the current corona virus?
Twitter is teeming with stories. Battles for mouse pads, loud calling partners and your partner who suddenly turns out to behave just like that one annoying colleague. How do you keep it cozy when you're on each other's lip for three weeks?
"Don't Say Everything You Think"
Marjolein Engbers insists on communication. She guides couples who run a company together. "The quality of the communication determines the quality of this home working period."
That doesn't mean you have to say everything you think. "If you explode about your partner calling hard, it might be quieter after that, but it won't lessen the tension."
“You see your partner in a different light, which can also rekindle the appeal” Joey Steur, relationship therapist
Instead, it is good to clarify your desire. "If you find your partner's behavior annoying, ask yourself where it comes from."
It is important to know how you prefer to organize your working day yourself, says relationship therapist Joey Steur. "Do you prefer to work concentrated for two hours and then have a coffee? Can you concentrate better in the morning or in the afternoon?" By agreeing this, you can manage expectations better. She warns: do that at a time of rest. "Not when you are already irritated, because it can escalate quickly."
"Don't just rush in with the message that you still have to buy a present or send a bunch of flowers." Marjolein Engbers
"No talking is no use"
Moreover, this happens a lot faster with your partner than with a colleague. "With colleagues you often think: I'll leave it. With your partner you say more quickly what annoys you, which is not always the right decision in situations like this." Her tip? 'Give each other space for a moment, but definitely come back to it. You are on each other's lips for three weeks, there is no point in not talking about it. "
Once expectations have been managed, it is good, according to Engbers, to make clear agreements about where you work and how long you will be doing that. It is also important to know when you can appeal to the other person.
"Don't just rush in with the message that you still have to buy a present or send a bunch of flowers." Things that the other person can usually answer via WhatsApp when it comes out can now be asked at the wrong time.
"End the day with a ritual"
At the end of the working day, Engbers advocates a rite of passage. "Take a shower or take a walk together. Normally you get in the car, now you physically do something else so you end your working day."
Steur also emphasizes that the three weeks can also give a boost to your relationship. "You see your partner in a different light, which can also rekindle the attraction between the two of you. Find the connection in this time of crisis, maybe it will bring you closer together."