Noha Saad

American studies say that 20% of girls and 8% of boys are subjected to sexual harassment before they turn 18, and it is worrisome that these percentages do not only occur far from the safety in their lives, but are located in the school or the homes of friends and relatives or even inside the home from one of the family members.

According to the American National Child Trauma Treatment Group NCTSN, more than half of cases of child sexual harassment are from relatives or someone known to family members, such as a family friend or a neighbor, and according to the Child Protection Council that 95% of cases of child sexual harassment are from a person with prior knowledge With the child.

Therefore, teaching a child how to protect himself is very important, as you cannot monitor him all the time. But he can be trained to protect himself, especially since children may not know the meaning and consequences of sexual harassment, but they feel well that something uncomfortable they are being exposed to:

1- Naming personal areas by their names
The more you start talking to your child about the limits of his body, the more he will be able to protect himself from unwanted touch.

The child must be taught the names of the members of his body in a serious way that there is no room for joking or pampering in them, and you should avoid calling them by pseudonyms, so that the child does not feel the shame of parts of his body.

The person molested is very cowardly, and if he realizes that the child will clearly describe to his family what he was exposed to, he will be afraid to be exposed to it.

2- The boundaries of the body
Teach your child that no person has the right to touch his personal areas, whether from relatives, a stranger or another child, and that the display of these areas does not happen without the presence of one of the parents and in special cases such as a doctor's examination.

The child must know that no person has the right to ask him to show these areas of his body, touch them or take a picture of them, or see the members of another person as well, and if one of them does so, he must refuse to do this and leave the place immediately, and inform one of his network Safe is directly like the father or the mother.

3- Safe and frightening touch
Touching a child from his parents teaches him the difference between a safe and frightening touch that causes him inconvenience, which enables him to recognize that he is uncomfortable in the event of exposure to him, and that he has the right to refuse and scream to report the harassed person.

4- Request permission before touching it
Teaching the child that his body is his property only, and it is his right to ask permission before being touched by relatives and strangers, whether before embracing them or accepting them for him, just as adults have the right to consent before touching them, so also the child, this matter enhances his knowledge of his personal limits and the limits of others with him.

This starts at home so you can get used to it by asking for his permission before embracing or kissing him and respecting if he refuses to do so without expressing any kind of annoyance with his decision, or forcing him to hug, and it is not preferable for the child to get used to kissing.

Child should be taught the right to object and say "no" (Pixels)

5- Teach him to say “no.”
The child must be taught the right to object and say "no", if he rejects any uncomfortable situation for him, and respect that without intimidating him, which is what he must do if he feels insecure when someone touches him and is not afraid to say "no" even to adults.

6- Create a secure network for it
A child’s sense of safety is not born from one or two situations, but it is built from the child’s early years and reinforced by time, with a safe bond for the child, receiving his words without punishment, or informing another person about what he said without his permission that enhances his sense of safety, and enables him to reveal to an adult if he is at risk .

When a child reaches three years of age, he must have a safe network of five people from the family, and preferably one of them is not from the family, it may be the teacher or psychological specialist in his school, and they are the child who can inform them of anything that happened without fear even if he was threatened by a child Another or from an adult.

7- There are no secrets
73% of the child victims of sexual harassment do not inform anyone of what happened for at least a year, according to the American Half Post, and 45% conceal what happened for a period of five years, and this must confirm the importance of informing adults about anything that happens, and reassuring the child that he is safe, whatever he says.

The distinction between happy secrets such as his brother's sudden birthday party, and how he can keep this secret, and between bad secrets if someone harms him and asks him to keep secret, he must know that this is not a secret and he must report this immediately.

73% of child victims of sexual harassment do not tell anyone what happened for a year (Pixels)

8- Signs of physical fear
Teach your child to trust his intuition when he feels insecure that someone touches him, and he has the right to object to this by saying a text "I do not want to touch me", whether it is for a relative or a stranger for him.

Also, teach him the difference between feeling safe and afraid by setting examples, by asking him what he feels when he sits next to him before his sleep, which is a feeling of comfort and safety, and what he feels if he lost you when shopping, which is a feeling of fear, and discussing the signs of his body that tell him that he is not safe, namely:

1- Sweat on the forehead

2- His desire to cry

3- Fast heartbeat

4- Chills on his body

5- Feeling sick in the stomach

6- Sweat in his palms

7- Trembling

8- The desire to urinate

9- Confusion and getting lost in his legs

9- Unacceptable behaviors
Be sure to teach your child to refuse to enter anyone with him in the bathroom for any reason, and if he is subjected to this, he must refuse strongly and scream, and also refuse to accept one part of his body or sit on the leg of any of the strangers, or be alone with him and ask for things that are uncomfortable for him.

40% of children who are victims of sexual harassment are victims of other children, which may happen from brothers or in a meeting of children to play in someone’s home or school, and therefore children should not be left unattended from adults, and be sure to teach your child that any game with his friends does not It must have physical contact only in a safe and in the presence of an adult.