Aguirre de Cárcer: "Of course there are parents who shouldn't have children"

The center that his father founded in 1956 is a pioneer in preparing for childbirth. Currently, Pablo Aguirre de Cárcer, a Doctor of Psychology, directs the Spanish School of Maternal Education, which has advised more than 300,000 women when giving birth.

A pregnant woman receives a shower of advice a day, although she has not asked for them. Yes, she will receive advice from all her surroundings and, mainly, from Google. The problem is where those tips come from, because if you start to get into forums, what you are going to see are the negative comments. This greatly deforms the information. The suggestions you should follow are those of your healthcare team. The advice we should never give, and that continues to be given, is to eat for two. How did he give his father to investigate this issue back in the 50s? My father worked in the maternity hospital of La Paz Hospital and there he had close contact with pregnant women for 30 years. Then, he detected that there was a deep ignorance in the mothers when faced with childbirth. In addition, they were very negatively conditioned and went with enormous fear. He convinced the health authorities of the time and went to speak personally with the Minister of Labor and Social Security to explain the advantages of maternal education. He did it and, since then, he has been established in our national health system. What has changed these years? Many things. For example, when my father gave the first course for husbands, at that time, the tocologists laughed and said: "Alvaro, none will go." In the end, there were two of a group of 20, which was a historic milestone. Now, 70, 80 or 90% come to the specific class of what will happen in childbirth. What were the revolutionary techniques that he applied? The fact of addressing the pregnancy of the woman, not only as something physiological, but as a process in which the entire personality of the woman is involved. It is not just giving birth to a child but the change that is going to take place in the life of that family. From that moment on, breaths and relaxation were introduced. And the false myth to be banished? That childbirth must necessarily be painful. It is not true. Childbirth is an effort, but that does not mean that it has to be painful. Not at all in the intensities that some women imagine. Every time you watch an American movie, a lady comes out screaming irrationally like crazy. This is not even seen when someone is shot. Childbirth is symbolized as a time when the mother totally loses control and starts screaming in a wild way. These myths hurt. Those cries with the epidural have relaxed, right? No. It's that those screams don't exist. That is false. Epidural anesthesia has meant an unprecedented advance. But we must not forget that, although it nullifies the pain, that does not exempt the mother from actively collaborating in childbirth. Mothers who have their baby with epidural anesthesia should collaborate more intensely because they lose the reflex reflex. They have to learn to push in an effective way. So, is the image that appears in the films of pregnant women false? Yes, it is false, although there may be ladies who have neither prepared nor know what is going to happen that, suddenly, they panic. are there screams in the maternity homes? Of course there are screams! I have heard patients scream, but we have also greatly distracted the mother and she has shut up. We saw how the monitor had contractions and was not screaming. So the screams don't really relieve. They get worse. This is like when your head hurts a little and you are going to watch a good movie and the pain goes away. This is false. The pain was, but the attention has become unfocused, you have blocked that area and you did not feel it. When you scream, you are concentrating on the pain and, the more you concentrate, the more you increase it. How do you learn to control it? There are three basic weapons: the first is tranquility and self-control. The second is relaxation. It is a technique and, as such, what you have to do is learn and practice it. People think that relaxing is like taking a nap and that's not it. The third is the breaths. It is necessary to give birth with elegance, how is it achieved? Yes. It is very simple: actively collaborating in childbirth and being fully aware of the process at all times. The difference in childbirth between a woman who collaborates and another who does not is huge. Does libido in pregnancy increase or decrease? In general, in the first trimester it decreases. In the second, it can increase and, in the third trimester, it depends a lot on the symptoms that women have, rather than purely hormonal factors. At that stage, it tends to decrease because the woman is more uncomfortable. What is the main complaint she hears? The most pronounced is low back pain, back pain. And the comment that surprises her most? The baby care . I am surprised that there are still mothers who think that when they have a fever, blankets and blankets should be put on, when the opposite must be done. Have pregnant women evolved a lot? Pregnant women are currently women with a very high cultural level, all trained in their respective professions and with important professional responsibilities. They are very well informed and have a great interest in receiving a good course. Perhaps a few years ago the motivation of the mothers was that their gynecologist had prescribed it. Why is it necessary to take such a course? Before giving birth, it is important to have a good physical preparation. During childbirth, knowing the whole process and knowing what will happen leads to lower levels of anxiety. There are women who have never been admitted to a hospital and are unaware of the mechanics, such as documents. They enter for childbirth and they have forgotten their wallet. Well, we started badly because the husband has to run for the wallet and she stays there alone with the contractions. Are the deliveries in Spain over-medicalized? I wouldn't use the word medicalized. The fact that childbirth is medicalized was the great advance of the 60s and is necessary. Another thing is to talk about instrumentalization of childbirth or the application of excessively rigorous medical protocols. Shouldn't the mother have a more active role once she arrives at the hospital? Yes, it should be. But it has to be a woman who knows how to contribute actively and contribute to the process. It has to be well trained. And the father? Once you enter the hospital you are not taken into account at all. We do not think so. In recent years, the role of the father has been increasing. In fact, their presence in the courses every day is greater and their involvement in parenting too. For me, the most beautiful moment of my life is when my son was born and I took him in my hands. Why in Spain are many caesarean sections? Many factors influence. The delay of the first pregnancy of mothers in Spain has increased the number of high-risk pregnancies. This can cause caesarean sections to increase greatly. Sometimes, we find in our courses with mothers who prefer to have a caesarean section to a natural birth. But can the mother choose? No, but the fact that a woman says that is predisposing the process. It is true that the excellent level of quality of our health can increase the number of caesarean sections. There is a rigorous control of pregnancy and problems can be detected in advance. Isn't there now an excessive obsession to stimulate the baby? The effects of stimulation are scientifically beneficial for the baby. Stimulation greatly enhances learning and development, but you also have to be careful not to subject the baby to overstimulation. Have children become a business? Yes. Countless marketing campaigns are centered around children. In this sense, we must distinguish the products really necessary for the baby, such as children's hygiene products, from the expendable products. The arrival of a baby requires an initial investment in crib, high chair, stroller ... The idea is to purchase products that have a utility. If not, we run the risk of filling our house with lots of unnecessary items. Baby spas are all the rage, are we becoming idiots? I wouldn't say so much. Parents should do activities with their children. If the baby likes it, why not do it? What is not good is to force the baby to perform activities that he does not want. I remember the case of a mother who took her baby to swimming lessons and he spent the whole class crying. Should we let him cry? We must distinguish the type of crying of the baby. In the beginning, we must attend to the crying of the baby, since it can be caused by justified causes. The baby's language is crying. A baby can't tell you: "Mom, it hurts." If not, I would tell you. Over time, we will know how to distinguish between justified crying and crying in which the baby is asking for attention. Of course, this last type of crying also needs to be addressed, but with some measure so as not to end up being slaves to the baby. What is the most important thing to educate? Love is fundamental in raising babies. A child with emotional deficiencies may have problems in their development. But, it is also important to set limits on the education of children. THE LAST QUESTION. Should parents' cards be distributed? I don't think it's necessary, really. There is everything, for better and for worse. And, obviously, for that our social services work and they do it effectively. Of course there are parents who shouldn't have children. Finding the balance between love and discipline is the great goal of parents.

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