"It should be" ghost or angel or August 8 at 16:57
"You should work properly" "You should get married" "You should read the air" ... There may be many people who are obsessed with the obsession of “to be” = “shake ghost”.
I thought together with Mr. Juni Chihara and Mr. Shoko Nakagawa, who had experience with the withdrawal, how to deal with this “shake ghost” that the people who are staying in particular are suffering.
(The ghost interviewing team: Reporter Daichi Takahashi Director Katsunao Kihara Ayumu Okada Yuki Ikegami)
The ghost that should have gathered
What is the “shock ghost” that you are suffering from? We called for an SNS post on "#Shokubo".
"I should make many friends"
"Establish financially independent"
“It should be adapted to society”
"I should work normally, get married and have children"
“Mothers should raise their children up to 3 years old”
"Even if you're tired, you should cook your best."
“Bon and New Year should go to the husband's parents' house”
"I should master my job once taught"
The gathered voices are various. A “shake ghost” that bothers people who are hugging and makes it difficult to get out.
A “shake ghost” that causes women who are raising children to suffer from their mum friends and family.
“That ghost” exists in human relationships with colleagues and friends at work.
Both those who are attracted and those who are not are also suffering from “ideal ghosts” in the same way, and the reality that “ideal ghosts” are spreading widely in society is now visible.
Ghost
So how can we get rid of the “shock ghost”?
We received advice from Prof. Toshio Hasegawa of Hakuume Gakuen University, who has been supporting the people who have been withdrawn for many years.
“We have held many workshops in which the people of Hikikomori have participated so far, but it is important to discuss with multiple members and write out in text. Can be shared with other people. ''
Based on the advice from Prof. Hasegawa, we organized a workshop for the parties to participate.
The collaborator was Atsushi Watanabe, a contemporary artist. Mr. Watanabe himself has also been involved for 3 years, and has worked on many works based on his own experience and works with the people who have been involved.
Workshop to write, break and repair
Participants were recruited from people who gave their experiences to NHK's special site, “Hikikomori Crisis“ One Million ”Survival” ”.
Over 1200 people have sent messages to the site so far. I thought that it might be difficult for those who were busy to get out, but when I called for participation in the event by email, I received many replies.
As a result, a total of 8 parties and experienced people gathered at the venue. At the workshop, the participants first selected “to be” that they had suffered for many years.
And on the concrete disk, write the words you chose, such as “I should live without relying on anyone”, “I should work perfectly without mistakes”, “I should enter a good school where I can study” I went. It will spit out what should have been caught.
One of the participants, Mr. Yukio (a woman in her 40s) has been involved in the relationship at work and has been involved for about a year and a half, and that participation in this workshop is the first outing in a year and a half. was.
Mr. Yukio chose the phrase “I need a lover”.
“Parents and workplaces say, 'That's natural, why don't you marry me?'”
Next, use a hammer to destroy the spewed “shoulder”. Yukio also thoroughly destroyed the concrete that says “I need a lover”.
It doesn't mean that you've got rid of "Shokubo". The important thing is to repair the broken “ghost”. The pieces are joined together with an adhesive, and the cracks are repaired with gold splices.
Regarding the aim of repairing what was once broken, Mr. Atsushi Watanabe said that “Society is making something like the standard value of“ normal ”and if it is not“ normal ”, it should be“ ~ ” “They should be“ repressed by society, and I think it ’s important how we face and how to face the oppression. ”
Changes that have been seen by facing each other
The participants seemed to have noticed each other through the workshop.
`` The word `` I should have a lover '' was disgusting, but as it broke down and I worked hard to fix it and build a new one, this word became a little loved To be honest, you want a lover, so I just wanted you to not get hurt. "
Mr. Yukio told me the real intention. While spitting out, destroying, and connecting the thoughts that were in me, I may have been able to know how to interact with the obsessed “ghost”.
I knew that there was no need to get rid of all the “ghosts” that I had, and that there was a way to get along.
After the workshop, there were many participants who spoke that way.
It's important to have your own escape
This is a project to think about how to confront “shake ghost”.
We have the participation of entertainer Chihara Jr., who has a long-standing experience, and Shoko Nakagawa, a talented singer.
Chihara Jr. has a long history of being 14-14 years old.
“I've been educated all the time to live on the same rails as everyone else, and I do n’t like it and I want to do something different from everyone since I was in elementary school. There was a place where I was attracted by the reaction of "I can't do it." "
On that basis, I pointed out that the idea of “must be” is also important.
"I can't stay as it is, I want to take a step. But I don't know the direction. I don't know how to take a step. I think it ’s going to be hard. ”
“I was uncomfortable when I was sitting, and I thought I wasn't supposed to be like this. I think I was just lucky, but I got a phone call like that. Because of my brother's fault, he said, “I ’m going to laugh in Yoshimoto, so come here.” I wanted to go somewhere, so I went in the direction of laughing. `` I think there is a key to escape when I keep thinking that `` I am not good as it is now, I should break this situation. ''
"I should have burned my back"
Shoko Nakagawa, who was attracted by bullying when he was a junior high school student, said that “must do” that his mother said later was useful.
“When my mother was saying something like“ Go to school ”or“ I should n’t work, ”“ It ’s noisy! I do n’t know! I wasn't able to do anything for myself, but I couldn't really afford to think about it, but what I said at that time was “I should do it.” Maybe I'm going to school today "or" Let's do this job for a moment ". That ’s why I think that “I should do” has blown the wind. ”
Some angels should be!
In addition, the reporter of the editorial department of the magazine “Hiki Pos”, a magazine created by the people who have been withdrawn intermittently for more than 30 years, Tadashi Ikeda, using the word “shoulder angel”, is important to live while being drawn And he talked about the relationship between “to be”.
“I think it can be said that a bad“ should ”pushed by society and parents is a“ shake ghost ”, but I think there is also a good“ should ”. I don't think it's an economic productivity in a very narrow sense, but even if I'm confined to a corner of society, I think "I should live" for the time being. Isn't it a concept that should be said to be “the angel” that is different from “the ghost”?
How you face is up to you
If you are obsessed with the “ideal ghost” that you should n’t stay behind and work, you ’ll suffer. This is because the society and the surrounding people have pushed it.
On the other hand, there is a “should”, “shoulder angel” that “should stay alive” and “should someday escape”.
While listening to the stories of the parties and experienced persons, the difference between “shock ghost” and “shoulder angel” is determined by the relationship with society. It seems that it is only a difference.
I think it is necessary to create an environment in society that can support this attitude of mind, as if it should be done well and sometimes value it.
How to confront with “Nekobake” will be introduced in detail in Close-up Hyundai +, scheduled to be broadcast from 7:30 pm on Thursday, August 8th.
Hikikomori Crisis “Million People” Survival
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