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The moment of the presentations of the couples who are ready to put their love to the test in 'The Island of Temptations' would have to be accompanied by a free botox session, because it is impossible not to be amazed and frown strongly at each pearl released by the participants of the program. Repeated forgiving cheating, invalidations of the couple's emotions or jealousy and insecurities are some of the ingredients of this explosive cocktail.

Once we have overcome that first phase in which stupefaction (and laughter, why deny it) stalks us, it is unquestionable that far from being simply a reality show in which couples with problems put themselves to the test (very bad idea? very bad idea), we are talking about a format that can make many people see themselves reflected in certain toxic behaviors and thus consider their relationships. In fact, as the Government Delegate against Gender Violence, Victoria Rosell, explained at a press conference in 2021, calls to 016 (the hotline for victims of gender-based violence) increased by 61% as a result of Rocío Carrasco's television testimony in which she spoke of her mistreatment. Rosell explained at a press conference that it is common for the service of attention and assistance to victims of sexist violence to register increases in calls when there is "a program" or a "case with media projection", thus serving this type of content so that many women self-identify with the violence that is shown.

So revealing can the program be, and so capable of making us see toxic aspects that unfortunately, are common beyond the small screen, that many psychologists specialized in couples find in 'The Island of Temptations' a sociological experiment to dissect in detail whose toxic behaviors can be analyzed.

Jealousy, Possession, and Ink

In the seventh edition, the couple that is generating the most headlines and that is being the most commented on networks is that of Andrea Bueno, 18 years old, and Álvaro Álvarez, 26 years old. Although she has left the show after seeing the supposed connection between her partner and one of the bachelorettes, in reality from the beginning, the couple was destined to be a box of surprises. An example? After having "failed" him three times, she tattooed his face on his leg. "You know what I thought? Now I'm going to go back to him, I'm going to tattoo my name on him and I'm going to leave him and I'm going to have him take his ass with my name here in a big way, like he's a marked horse. And that's what I did," he explains without a hint of irony.

But let's take it one step at a time and start with precisely that ink as a reminder of stumbles. "It's a clear toxic dynamic and an initiative of control, possession, disrespect... The fact that he has had his partner's face tattooed shows that he lacks assertiveness and is incapable of setting boundaries. Both would have to go to couples and individual therapy. Wanting to mark someone as a reminder punishment is detrimental to both parties of the couple, because it reflects a lack of trust and mutual respect," warns Lara Ferreiro, author of 'Addicted to an Asshole'. Of course, this is where a classic of toxic relationships comes into play: thinking that the partner is a possession and that, therefore, it must be dominated and even marked.

The basis of Andrea and Álvaro's relationship is mistrust, and jealousy is part of their day-to-day life. "A couple with such a starting point is never going to work. In the show, this behavior is hidden with phrases such as "If I didn't care, I wouldn't get jealous", "If you weren't important to me, I wouldn't care what you did"... But in reality, we are talking about unhealthy jealousy and the feeling of possession that is so often confused with love. When in a relationship, for X reasons, there is mistrust, or it is resolved in therapy, or it is doomed to failure. It's a relationship in which you're going to suffer," warns Mariona Gabarra, sexologist and advisor to Gleeden.

Along with the detail of the tattoo (we say detail so as not to say nonsense... Oops! We've said it), one of the reasons why the couple's presentation went viral was Álvaro's fling with the baker in his neighborhood in which the PlayStation video game, 'Call of Duty', was the protagonist. Although he assures that they limited themselves to playing, apparently, it has not been the case at all, and his sentimental life has more emotional shrapnel than the aforementioned game. Álvaro commented on the show that she has forgiven him, but adds that she continues "with it every day"... Something that, by the way, is not surprising, as he clarifies that he has failed his partner on three occasions. We asked the psychologists consulted if it is possible to put an end to this streak of betrayals or if infidelities and stumbles are part of an eternal emotional return.

Psychologist Lara Ferreiro believes that building a healthy relationship from mistrust, in addition to being impossible, is an exhausting experience that erodes self-esteem, trust and the quality of the relationship. There will be those who can forgive a specific infidelity, but when we talk about three cases, we are dealing with chronic infidelity. It's like pretending that Julio Iglesias is faithful to you! The problem lies with those who allow something toxic and forgive repeatedly, because from the first infidelity, everything is minimized and the level of guilt decreases. What you have to do in the face of this emotional addiction is to leave the relationship and work on your self-esteem," she says. He further warns that jealousy is an emotional response to losing something. "The problem isn't really that another woman comes for her boyfriend: the danger is inside Andrea herself, not outside," she says.

Although the interesting thing about the program is the way in which it serves as a reflection of certain toxic behaviors, it is vital not to normalize such behaviors and to try to make pedagogy of the errors we see. "These programs make us realize how important it is to be in a healthy relationship," Ferreiro adds.

The truth is that the program is based on a couple of admittedly problematic premises. To begin with, we find the idea that jealousy can be overcome by avoiding temptations: as much as facing temptations may reveal areas of conflict in the relationship, the solution to jealousy goes beyond exposing couples to difficult situations. On the other hand, we find the absolute absence of sisterhood, as the temptresses appear as femme fatales ready to snatch their partners from them. Aren't they to blame, in case there is a misstep? It also kicks in the dangerous 'catfight' that we seemed to be getting rid of when the fiction bets on stories in which women do not confront or are shown as enemies, something that does happen in the program.

To conclude, Gabarra takes stock of Andrea and Álvaro's relationship, but not before warning that we still know too little about the couple. "She's a psychological abuser. He is 26 years old and she, who is 18 years old, dominates him to the point of having tattooed her own face. He continually gives him ultimatums and threatens him always. Being a 26-year-old man, the only thing that makes me understand that she remains in that position in the face of such an abusive and toxic attitude would be that on her part there is manipulation, abusive and mistreatment. If not, I don't understand why a 26-year-old would stay in such a relationship. Something had to happen for him to become smaller and insecure until he became so dependent on her that he allowed him anything," she says. "She's shown her face quickly, but he looks like a submissive and dominated man. Of course, maybe later he surprises us and that attitude has a reason: either he is not showing his true face and there is something that makes her lose her roles, or she has a toxic pattern that touches certain limits."

'Temptation Island' has become a televised autopsy of each couple, a forensic operation in a sentimental key with which to discover what behaviors fail, where the germ of the problems is located and why the heart does not beat as it should. We can see in their fights aspects of our relationships that should be solved or simply, we can face the program as a mere amusement in which to see couples of canonical beauty and XS clothes argue without brakes.

It is undeniable that the program, like any reality show, can be seen from a sociological and psychological point of view or as just another pastime, but what is really interesting is to remember that pleasures, even if we are talking about temptations, are never guilty. 'The Island of Temptations' triumphs because it shows unfiltered relationship problems in an enclave orchestrated to set off alarm bells and push its participants to lose control, and we like few things more than to see, from the tranquility of the sofa at home, how everything explodes through the air and we caress the Schadenfreude, which is the pleasure of watching others stumble. But we have to be careful not to say a phrase that, although it can relax the moment it is spoken, is just as worrying as some of those that the tempted blurt out: "Well, in the end, my relationship is not so terrible." The evil of many, the consolation of fools, does not work in the world of love... And that's what the participants show us in each program.

  • Couple relationships
  • Psychology
  • Temptation Island
  • Couples