How young people can travel happily with their parents
After going to Sichuan with his parents during the National Day holiday this year, Liu Yu secretly decided not to do such "thankless" things next time.
Hotels, tickets, itineraries... Before leaving, my parents first said "I listen to you", but after the booking, they found all kinds of faults, and even said that they couldn't go; finally set off, Liu Yu excitedly listed a bunch of special restaurants to check in, and his parents' fixed feedback sentence was "It's so expensive, what is delicious, it's still good for our family"; was woken up at 7 o'clock in the morning, and the whole process was "special forces-style" check-in, without a sense of relaxation during the holiday, which made Liu Yu feel more "tired" than going to work. "I think there is too much gap between my life and life and my parents' thoughts and ideas, which makes everyone unhappy on this trip." Liu Yu said.
"How to travel with your parents" has become a hot topic on social media. Some people complain that "traveling with their parents is like being punished", some people share the wonderful moment of experiencing the sunrise on the sea with their parents, and some people list in detail the practical strategy of "not quarreling". When young people travel with their parents, what magical sparks are likely to collide? Is the travel contradiction caused by the difference in concept really "insoluble"?
My parents and I travel "out of sync"
Ding Wei is a "veteran player" who travels with his parents, and since he became an adult, he has traveled with his parents an average of five or six times a year, ranging from two or three days to the "Citywalk" in the surrounding cities, and a trip to the "Qinggan Small Ring Road" during the National Day holiday. When he was a child, his parents often took Ding Wei out on trips. When he grew up, the task of planning and implementing the trip naturally fell on Ding Wei's head, "My parents no longer know how to do strategies and buy tickets online."
Although they have traveled together many times and are familiar with each other's travel habits, Ding Wei still "goes out of sync" with his parents from time to time. The most contradictory is the concept of consumption. Sometimes it appears in the early stage of strategy, such as booking a hotel. Mom and Dad asked for breakfast, a good environment, a comfortable place to live, and most importantly, not too expensive. Ding Wei often spends several hours carefully comparing and choosing a hotel that he is relatively satisfied with. And my mother often thinks that the hotel booked by Ding Wei is too cost-effective. When traveling to Sanya, Ding Wei wanted to book a sea-view room, but his mother felt that it was very cost-effective to save 300 yuan by walking a few more steps. Ding Wei was puzzled: "It's hard to come to Sanya, isn't it fragrant to spend an extra 300 yuan to push the door and see the sea?" ”
In addition to the different philosophies, there are also some parents who will carry out "blood suppression". Chen Xinyu, a post-95s girl, feels that the most difficult thing about going out with her parents is that they often put "business" in their travels.
When I went out to play during the summer vacation of my junior year, my father would ask Chen Xinyu coldly while waiting for the train at the station: "Are you planning to go to graduate school or work?" When it was time for work, my mother was tortured by the soul when she was visiting the Suzhou gardens together: "When will you find a boyfriend?" You can come out and play together. Chen Xinyu felt that it was a bit disappointing to go out happily, but he was dragged to discuss "life events". She believes that when you go out, you should be happy to pay attention to the scenery and food, "I don't know why they have to spoil the beautiful atmosphere".
"Sometimes it's not that young people don't like to travel with their parents, and parents don't want to hang out with young people." Cheng Liu, who has worked in the "big factory" for two years, lamented that he is working in other places and it is rare to meet his parents. She had the idea of taking her parents on a trip, but because her parents had not yet retired, she often couldn't make up the time. What's more, whenever she offered to hang out together, Mom often expressed a different opinion.
"Mom thinks my previous schedule of going out was too loose." Cheng Liu said helplessly. Cheng Liu likes to travel in a resort-style way, focusing on time freedom and physical and mental relaxation, but her mother thinks that she should make the most of her time when she travels, go to iconic attractions, and taste local specialties on the spot. "She doesn't like me to sleep until noon, order takeout at the hotel, eat supper late at night, and like to go to bed early and get up early to travel healthily." For this reason, Cheng Liu and his parents have not been able to make the trip.
When traveling, parents are more "free of themselves"
After traveling together, Gao Anxin seems to have a new understanding of her parents. When she first proposed to travel to Guilin together, her parents said that they "didn't want to go" because travel was "tiring and expensive" and "spending money to buy sin". It wasn't until the plane landed that Gao Anxin discovered that the old couple was actually as "fond of shopping and playing" as herself, and even a little "out of control". She originally made a good strategy, where to eat, where to shop, where to visit... However, her parents seemed to let go of themselves, completely ignoring her "budget-conscious" arrangement, they felt hungry and found a restaurant in the attraction to eat as they wanted, and the things they ordered were "expensive and not delicious"; When you see a souvenir shop, you buy it when you enter the door, regardless of cost performance; She is calling for an online car-hailing service, but her father has already negotiated the price with the "black car" driver... As a result, of course, he frequently "stepped on thunder", just like that, he became a stupid tourist under the leadership of his parents, and the strategy he made with his heart failed to come in handy at all, Gao Anxin felt "angry and funny".
After all, the old couple's "self-freedom" is limited, and when other elders in the family are added to the tour group, it is the real test. During this year's National Day holiday, Zhao Siyang took his parents, uncle, aunt, cousin and other family members to Xi'an to play. Zhao Siyang played the role of "team leader", after soliciting the opinions of each family member, he made a good strategy, booked hotels and air tickets, and arranged the size of the trip, so the whole trip can be said to be "happy", but even so, some small frictions are inevitable.
Zhao Siyang told the reporter of China Youth Daily and China Youth Network that the most embarrassing thing for him was that his father liked to eat stir-fried vegetables on weekdays, and he also liked to drink two sips of wine during meals, and he didn't want to break the routine because of travel, plus the two families rarely traveled together, so his father was in a particularly good mood, and asked Zhao Siyang to arrange a restaurant where he could eat stir-fried vegetables at every meal, so that he could "drink a few more glasses" with his uncle. Once, due to some objective reasons, Zhao Siyang failed to do what his father wanted, and the two had a little awkwardness, and the next day Zhao Siyang couldn't bear it, so he arranged a "compensation seat". Zhao Siyang told reporters that in fact, he also understood in his heart that his father was so "willful" about "eating stir-fried vegetables" and "drinking a few glasses", not only because of his own living habits, but also because he wanted to entertain his relatives well, "Although I didn't want him to drink because I was worried about my father's health, I didn't want to ruin his happiness at the same time." Zhao Siyang said.
To resolve the conflict, think clearly about "why you travel with your parents"
Although there were many conflicts with her parents during the trip, when Gao Anxin saw her parents happily shooting videos and posting them on Moments, she felt that these didn't seem to be important. "I'm so happy that they can hang out with me." Gao Anxin told reporters.
"Actually, I feel very happy to see a big family together. I'm still very willing to take them on a trip in the future. Zhao Siyang said.
Ding Wei also felt that the contradictions were all vignettes and would not affect the final mood. "I'm quite happy to take my parents out, and they are also happy, and they feel that they have checked in different cities with me."
In Ding Wei's view, many young people are reluctant to go out with their parents because of the natural differences in lifestyles and philosophies between parents and children. "Many children don't live with their parents from college or even earlier, and their parents' lifestyles stay the same as their generation, and the ways and channels for their children to understand the world are constantly updated, which is naturally prone to conflicts." Ding Wei said.
How can this contradiction be reduced? Ding Wei feels that the most important thing is to think clearly: why do you take your parents out to play.
"Are you here to accompany your parents and show them the world? Or do you want to use them as your travel companions? Ding Wei feels that if it is to accompany their parents, then young people should not only use what they think is "good" as a yardstick, but also see the habits and preferences of their parents, let alone feel that "I brought you out for your good, and you should follow mine". On the premise of mutual respect, try to choose a way that is acceptable to your parents.
If you want to become a "travel partner" with your parents, you should pay attention to the difference in life philosophy with your parents. "In daily life, young people and their parents have different ideas and habits, but the travel scene further magnifies this difference." Ding Wei feels that if the unhappiness brought by differences has exceeded the happiness of the trip itself, then there is no need to continue to travel together, just play separately. "Even friends of the same age may not be happy when they travel together. When traveling with your parents, it's important to have fun with each other! ”
(At the request of the interviewee, the name of the interviewee in this article has been changed)
China Youth Daily, China Youth Network Intern Reporter Yu Bingyue Reporter Xia Jin Source: China Youth Daily