THE SEX QUESTION - Should we be interested in the sex life of our teens?

For parents, it is often difficult to know how to approach intimacy and sexuality with their children.

In "Sans Rendez-vous", the 

Louise's question

“My daughter is in high school and is 18 years old. The other day I discussed her love and sex life with her. She told me that she had already had sex and even once with two boys at the same time. worried, I feel like I missed something in his education, what should I do? "

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Catherine Blanc's response

"I'm not sure mum asked for details, at least she got them. As long as we ask the question 'do you want to talk about it? How are you doing? Have you ever had a sexual experience? It has to be to check that everything is fine, that his child is not rushed in anything, that he If the child kicks in touch and says 'Oh, it's okay! I'll tell you or I won't tell you', we stop there.

There, in this case, his daughter claims to have had sexual relations, including once with two boys.

This raises several questions.

This raises the concern of the desire for eventual provocation and why the child needs to be dint of details like that.

Is it to disturb, titillate, make her mom uncomfortable?

Or is it a young girl who needs to say everything, because she believes that today to be great is to be on the side of those who make love, and those who make love say what they do, what they are capable of doing.

This is kind of how young people tend to approach each other.

Sometimes they even pass on their sexual CV to each other: 'I'm capable of this, I did that', as proof that they are adults.

In this case, you have to be able to say: 'Listen my darling, since you are telling me this, I am worried.

Was that your wish?

Were you constrained?

Or do you feel obligated to tell me things, because in your generation you tend to tell yourself a bit of everything? '

How to respond in such a situation when you are a parent?

If you make rabbit eyes in the headlights of a car and you arrive with the whistle in your mouth to say 'Stop it!', It's abnormal.

We can say that we are surprised because generally at the beginning of a sexuality, we do not start at the end, we go there gradually.

Maybe at that point you have to say: "I don't judge, but I'm surprised. Tell me why it happened like this and if it was your wish. We don't have to. to do whatever each other wants. Now, if that was your desire, what does that say? Do you want to talk to me about it? '

Besides, what does it say?

It just might just be that this young girl needs to prove that she can.

This is the drama of youth.

Since we have just left childhood, we want to prove that we are already an adult and that we are capable of anything.

Often, therefore, one takes oneself to shores which are far too far from one's personal capacities.

Often it's' I want to please, I want to show that I am up to the task and not be dethroned by someone who can.

Often, we do arm wrestling with strangers who do not exist to have a mature look.

This is how you should not judge your child.

You have to help him express things in order to be able to protect him from himself.

Do young people have a different relationship to the body and to sex?

What is often more painful for young people, it will be to have fallen in love or in love and that the boy or the girl left him (e) for example.

Wanting to write love letters can be a lot more engaging than sex for this generation.

Because today, we talk a lot about sexuality, it is part of the habits and customs.

What is more intimate is what is more emotional.

Suddenly, young people strip sexuality of all the emotional, which is however the very foundation of sexuality.

Consequence: they do anything and everything concerning the bodily, as if they forgot that it is their body. "