With the development of the economy, the growth period of young people has become longer and longer. They generally mature late and rely more on their parents.

"New gnawing on the old" is popular, who should be hit on the board

　　I suspect my daughter-in-law is too lazy to say a few more words, but I didn't expect others to hug the child, pull her husband, slam the door, and leave! In recent days, the same uncle couple has been fidgeting as if they lost their souls.

　　"The child was the one I watched since I was a child. I couldn't see it for a few days, and I couldn't even sleep." The same aunt told the old neighbor about the 5-year-old grandson and wiped tears. After the grandson was added to the family in recent years, the son simply took his daughter-in-law and children to live with them. The old couple was so busy taking care of the grandson, cooking, and tidying up the house every day. , But insomnia got heart disease. After thinking about it, the old couple cooked a large table of dishes and tried every means to get the son to persuade his wife to take the child back.

　　The old neighbor laughed at her as a "fate of suffering", but the same aunt said: "The son is not only for us to take the grandson, but also for fear that we are lonely. We are a little tired and happy."

　　Nowadays, young people "gnawing on the old" have become a common phenomenon. Housing prices in big cities are high, and most young people cannot afford a house with their wages; work pressure is high, and it is difficult for dual-employed couples to take care of their children and work. Therefore, the responsibility that should have been placed on young people is naturally passed on to the previous generation. "Cheating the old" has also been given a variety of grandiose reasons.

　　Different from the people's impression of the "grabbing old people" who are adults and capable of earning a living but rely on their parents instead of working at home, the more common "new gnawing old" methods are often more "not easily noticeable." These young people have jobs, and some even earn a lot of money. In the name of filial piety, the young couple take their children to their parents’ homes for a long time to eat and drink; others use their work as an excuse to "throw their hands away." The shopkeeper" threw all the children to the elderly.

　　The “new gnawing on the old” has aroused heated discussions among many netizens on social media. Some people think this is "seemingly filial, but actually cheating, it is a new type of filial piety." Others believe that "the one who is gnawed is the root of the problem, and it is always a big deal, and it has raised a giant baby." , I don’t know I have suffered."

"Biting" and "being gnawed"

　　With the uncle and lover, he has been busy all his life, saving a wedding room for his son, thinking that he can finally enjoy a good fortune after retirement. But after graduating from university, my son stayed at home for 3 years, always saying that he could not find a satisfactory job.

　　To put it bluntly, the relationship with the uncle found a job for his son. A few years before joining the job, his monthly income was only 3,000 yuan. The son always shouted that the money was not enough to spend, so the same aunt quietly stuffed him thousands of dollars in his pocket. Two years ago, my son finally got married and soon gave birth to a baby. The couple with the uncle became more worried, "The son is still like a child who has not grown up, how can he take good care of his grandson?"

　　Sure enough, the son took his wife and children into their parents' house. The daughter-in-law said that she had to go to work during the day and could not sleep well with her children at night, so the little grandson followed her grandparents to sleep since childhood. The old couple bought vegetables every day to cook for the adults, and they had to make a separate children's meal for the little grandson; they had to play with the little grandson, and they had to clean up. Of course, they also cleaned up the son's house together.

　　When they met capable grandparents, the young couple began to "hands the shopkeeper" more comfortably. Going home from get off work, the food at a table is already cooked, and the two of them lie on the sofa and play with their phones without washing the dishes. In time for the holidays, the two will have to travel for a few days in the "two-person world". A while ago, the same aunt had a terrible backache and wanted to go to the hospital for a visit, so she asked her son and daughter-in-law if she could take a day off to see her grandson. Unexpectedly, the daughter-in-law's complexion was immediately unsightly, saying "A lot of money will be deducted for a day off", and then "Your old problem, you can't get better after seeing it." The same aunt was a little angry and said a few more words. The daughter-in-law took the child to "run away from home" incident.

　　Afterwards, the same aunt also "figured it out", "I said that I often go home and have a look. I can see my son and grandson every day, and it's worth it."

　　Many young families let the elderly help with their children. A small family that is clearly capable but still depends entirely on the elderly to provide for them has become the so-called new type of "grabbing the old." For the elderly, it seems that their children are sharing the joy of family relationships with them every day, but in fact they also have misery. Not only have they lost their free time in their later years, they have overdrawn their bodies, and they have to keep giving money to their children and even grandchildren.

　　Li Wei, director of the School of Thought Education and Research of the School of Marxism at Tianjin University, believes that behind the growing military expansion of the "grabbing the old", it has a certain relationship with China's traditional culture and pension model. Since ancient times, our country has been based on the family as a unit. Parents raise the next generation and children grow up to support their parents. Therefore, the relationship between parents and children in China is difficult to distinguish as clearly as Western countries. The care and help of the children will not stop because the children start a family."

　　In recent decades, especially after the implementation of the one-child policy, the size of Chinese families has been shrinking. In the "421" family structure, the unique child has enjoyed more privileges since he was a child, which has also caused "nibbles" and "beings". Both parties seem to take it for granted.

　　China has always had the tradition of staying at home for the elderly, and there are indeed some children who have difficulty taking care of the elderly. Instead, some elderly people want to continue to be "gnawed". In their view, they are needed by their children, and they are willing to share life pressure with their children. .

"Boards can't just hit young people"

　　Liu Linlin and her husband are getting busy at work. A few years ago, one of them was transferred from Tianjin to the Beijing headquarters, and the other was transferred to a new factory 60 kilometers away from home. Liu Linlin's parents volunteered to take over the important task, "You two are busy with work, we look after the kids."

　　After the granddaughter went to elementary school, the old couple got up early to pick them up. The school is a popular elementary school in the downtown area. At first, granddaughter was able to enter this school, but it has gone through fierce competition. But the school is far away from Liu Linlin's parents' home, about 10 kilometers by car. In the morning rush hour, it is very difficult for the old couple to walk the 10 kilometers. They get up at 5 o'clock every day, make breakfast for their children, and then the three of them go out before 6:30, rain or shine.

　　Along the way, you have to cross two bridges, cross the most prosperous main road in the city, and then drive into the blocked old concession area. The school is in the most central location, surrounded by one-way lanes.

　　The 70-year-old Uncle Liu had to ride in the crowded traffic for about an hour to drive to the parking spot closest to the school, and then let his wife get out of the car and take the child to the school gate, and the old couple would go home together. When school is over in the afternoon, the two will pick up again. She wears reading glasses at night to help her granddaughter with homework.

　　Liu Linlin told her father that the child had to learn a little from a young age, so the old Liu enrolled his granddaughter for piano and dance classes. After entering the third grade, he also added English and math classes in the evening. The old couple found that the combined monthly pensions of the two were only enough to pay for an extracurricular class for their granddaughter. Even so, they gritted their teeth and did not mention to their daughter, "Daughter and son-in-law have to pay back several thousand yuan in mortgages every month. Now the young people are under great pressure. We old people can help more if they can."

　　Li Wei believes that the increase in the phenomenon of "new gnawing on the old" is closely related to the various problems brought about by social and economic development. "It is also not possible to just hit the board on the younger generation."

　　For example, university graduates are increasing year by year, but the economic situation is facing a downward trend at home and abroad, and there is a structural contradiction between talent supply and demand. Naturally, many college students will graduate but cannot find suitable jobs. For these people, they can only "gnaw" their parents at home temporarily, and then gradually find and determine their own development direction.

　　For young people who are already working and married, the cost of living in big cities is rising rapidly, coupled with long commutes and increasing work pressure, leading them to gain a foothold in big cities and work with peace of mind, they have to continue to Parents ask for help, such as asking the elderly to pool money to buy a house or pay down payment, such as asking the elderly to raise their children instead of themselves.

　　This also makes some elderly people become accustomed to over-participating in their children’s lives while providing help to their children, taking all the big and small things on their own bodies, knowing that they are "chewed" but still cannot let go.

Young people must develop a sense of responsibility after maturity

　　Today's young generation has caught up with the era of rapid economic development in China's 40 years of reform and opening up, and material conditions have been greatly improved. Li Wei analyzed that the "421" family structure makes the younger generation no longer have to shoulder the burden of "feeding back" the family. At the same time, the whole society has more diverse and tolerant views on employment and marriage. "These are all social A manifestation of progress, but it is also easy for people to overlook the responsibility of young people to their families."

　　Yuan Xin, a professor at the Institute of Population and Development of Nankai University, has been engaged in demographic research for more than 30 years. He believes that with the development of the economy, the growth period of young people has become longer and longer. This is reflected in that they generally mature late and rely more on their parents.

　　For the generations born in the 80s and 90s, few people have the memory of hunger, especially those born in the 90s have a better growth environment. However, their parents have a deep impression of poverty. From the era of material scarcity to today, many parents have a kind of obsession in their hearts, that is, "cannot suffer the children". This also makes them willing to sacrifice their old life, post money and energy, and are willing to let their children and even grandchildren come to "gnaw the old".

　　Every year when freshmen are enrolled in school, Li Wei will meet all kinds of parents and children. There are three generations of grandparents, grandparents, and parents who come to school with their children; there are also students who report to school with their bags on their own, "it seems no one thinks who is more exotic." Li Wei clearly felt that the whole society has become more tolerant of people's different choices, which also gives young people more opportunities to choose. But at the same time, they also have problems such as poor resistance to frustration and a weak sense of responsibility.

　　"Various forms of gnawing on the elderly are actually phenomena caused by a combination of various social factors. Therefore, to alleviate this problem, the government, society and other parties also need to cooperate to form a joint force." Li Wei believes that it is very important that To help the younger generation to establish more spirit of struggle and sense of responsibility, "Whether it is entering the workplace or establishing a family, these qualities of dare to face difficulties and challenges are very important to the growth of a person's life."

　　China Youth Daily · China Youth Daily reporter Hu Chunyan Source: China Youth Daily