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Coming out is formalizing one's sexual orientation. And when it comes to doing it with one's family, the fear of being rejected can be strong. On Thursday, in the program Sans Rendez-vous, on Europe 1, the sexologist Catherine Blanc advises a homosexual listener who wants "out of the closet", but apprehends the reaction of his father.
The question of David, 23 years old
"I'm homosexual and I'm planning to come out to my parents, I'm afraid of my father's reaction more than my mother's, how?"
Catherine Blanc's answer
"First of all, do we have to talk about our sexuality to our parents?" I find that we live our lives, but live it when it is in opposition or in a mode other than that of its parents, it It can be difficult to act as if nothing had happened, so we tend to want to verbalize it.Of course a homosexual boy, saying that he loves men, will stand out from the paternal model that loves women, This is a rejection of a male representation, he says to the father, 'I love men, of whom you are,' with the fear of paternal hostility, because the father might be afraid of his son's proximity. by this potential desire, or could feel deprived of the repository that he proposed and see his child in a maternal merger from which he would have been excluded. "
In fact, he's afraid to disappoint his father, right?
"That's right, when in fact there is male love in masculine homosexuality, and a need to emancipate oneself, to flee from what one may have been a little prisoner, namely the relationship to the mother, and in so doing, a need to go to men rather than women that would be a repetition of the relationship to the mother. "
How then to talk about it? Should we talk to daddy and mom at the same time, or make a deferred announcement?
"I think that all the families are different, if David does it with the maternal presence because she is an accomplice, she reassures him, but she puts a little bit of stress on the difficulty of the relationship between the son and the father. we can meet between father and son, finally, since in any case, homosexual or heterosexual, we are not the same and we have a clean path We would have liked to choose the path validated by his father but for X reason, it's not this one, I believe that sexuality is an adult position, and therefore, it's the best time to position oneself in front of one's father, without always going through the maternal path. "