Homophobic attacks have been numerous in recent weeks, leading to a rally this Sunday in Paris. The testimonies of the victims recalled that it is still complicated to display an LGBT identity in the public space.

A rally against LGBTphobies is being held this Sunday in Paris, to denounce the attacks that seem to increase in recent weeks. If the figures for the year 2018 are not yet known, the testimonies of victims on social networks have recalled the frequency of these attacks, which often take place in the street.

Can one feel free as an LGBT person in the public space in France? "Six out of 10 LGBT people adapt their behavior to avoid any LGBTphobe remarks," says Véronique Madre, SOS Homophobie's Brittany delegate, citing a study by the Jean-Jaurès Foundation.

"I do not take her hand anywhere anymore"

An adaptation that often concerns in the first place being in a relationship. "I watch around me before kissing someone, I keep my eyes open, with all my senses alert. Straight guys do not have to do that, " says Pierre, 29, a Parisian for five years.

Camille had not thought about her behavior in public until recently. The last assaults made them think, she and her girlfriend. "I do not take her hand anywhere anymore. For example in Aubervilliers, where she lives, the street is monopolized by men. At her request, we agreed not to behave like a couple, " says the 26-year-old, before ensuring that this rule will not last.

Like her friend, she was attacked when she was accompanied in a public place. A study conducted by SOS Homophobia among lesbian women shows that only 25% of them dare to take their girlfriend's hand in the street.

Marie is one of them. "I never stopped myself from holding my friend's hand, kissing her in the street when I was in a relationship. But this forty-year-old from Nantes admits to feeling now "a beginning of fear," she who had never worried. "As I am single right now, I can not say if I would adapt my behavior and attitude, but I asked myself that question. "

No act of intimacy in public

A question that no longer arises Frederic, 28, a bank employee in Lyon: "I always remain discreet. With my spouse, we will never show the slightest sign of affection or tenderness in public, let alone at night. The same goes for Matthieu, who has lived a long time in Rouen. "I never felt safe there, I would never have taken my guy's hand in the busy streets of the city. At 38, he changed his city and just met someone who kissed him in the street. "It was new to me," he says.

Why is it so complicated to show up as a couple? "Assaults take place when people are identified as LGBT by others, whether they are or not," says Véronique Madre. "There is more risk when you are in a relationship, because there is no more ambiguity about this identification. "

From where a permanent control, at every moment in the public space. "I pay attention to how my hands are with my girlfriend. A hand that lingers and you take insults. But there are five of them, you make a low profile and you go your way, " says Célia *, 28 years old.

"Release this pressure that you have all the time"

For her, one of the solutions goes through the places identified as LGBT. "I go to these places to be safe, with people who do not judge you. You can finally release that pressure that you have all the time, which weighs you constantly. Adrien, a 25-year-old engineer, chose to go to Paris neighborhoods where he knows that being homosexual will pose fewer problems, unlike the cities of Chartres and Compiègne, where he used to live. "I never assumed a gay status there, I did not feel safe enough. "

How to make the public space benevolent towards all? For Véronique Madre, of SOS Homophobie, "the actions of collective visibility, like Pride Marches, allow to reclaim this space" . But the road ahead is long, even during these events. Merwan would like to disguise himself, but still refuses: "It's too risky at the end of the parade, how do I go home safe and sound? "

"Make the most of my LGBT identity"

For the gaze of others, which assigns a particular sexuality, is often worn on clothing. When he goes out alone, Adrien thinks carefully about his outfit and accessories. Matthieu and Pierre say they enter a "heteronormed" aesthetic category and thus be more protected. "But it's a security at the expense of the freedom to be oneself , " regrets Pierre.

Same strategy for Célia: "I try to erase to the maximum my identity LBGT" . Faïza *, 23, still remembers with horror the day a man followed her for hurling lesbophobic slurs. "My sexuality goes unnoticed normally, it really shocked me. "

Mechanisms of vigilance

The insults became blows, one spring evening in Paris, for Benjamin *. He recounted the aggression he suffered on Twitter, photos in support. Since then, his feeling of insecurity in the public space has worsened.

"When I'm in the subway with a bunch of manly guys at will, I'm going to have a tendency to uncross my legs, put my headphones, lower my head and wait for it to pass hoping they do not find a target in me " Says the 22-year-old.

Like many, he has put in place mechanisms of vigilance, more or less conscious. Matthieu remembers his "protection reflexes" in Rouen: keeping his keys in his hand, often looking behind him. Attitudes that are very similar to those that women can use. "I never go home alone, let alone by public transport," says Faïza. Just like for Célia and Camille, the street is above all a place of daily sexist harassment.

All these strategies testify to the difficulty of displaying a sexuality that is not heteronormed even today. More than one in two LGBT people have experienced some form of homophobic aggression. "We are not as free as we should be, for a society that claims to be open and has laws to protect LGBT people. The fear is always present, " asserts Véronique Madre. A message that will be brought to this Sunday's gathering, so that one day, the public space is really for everyone.

* The first names have been changed .