In direct proximity to the Cologne fair stands a gray concrete building. Here is, if you will, the first aid center for women who are beaten, raped, humiliated. Under the number 08000 116 016, the staff of the help center "Violence against women" are available around the clock - free and confidential. Help seekers can also contact via chat or e-mail. Sign language interpreters are available.
The more than 70 consultants who work in shifts are specially trained. They listen to those affected, provide assistance, and seek counseling centers and shelters for women who can offer further help after the conversation. Many employees speak several languages. Within a minute, translators for 17 different languages, including Vietnamese, Farsi or Albanian, can be added at any time of the day or night.
"We want to make the call as easy as possible for the women," says Petra Söchting, 55, the head of the help hotline. "Because most victims of violence do not reveal themselves because they feel ashamed or complicit." Anyone who dares should find help immediately. Even with a power outage for hours, the hotline remains accessible, this is taken care of.
In 2017, more than 37,000 women were advised. Anonymity is guaranteed. The telephone number of the caller is not displayed to the employees - conversely, the number of the help phone does not appear in the itemization of the telephone bill.
The phone calls are very different, says Söchting. Sometimes there are screams or rumbling in the background, "sometimes the conversation only lasts a few minutes or just stops." Sometimes the "experience of violence" of a woman is already long gone. "Then a conversation can sometimes take an hour."
"Violence does not start when it comes to physical abuse"
Violent experience - the term sounds strangely sober for what often get heard by the staff of the phone. Söchting avoids portraying individual cases. But a look at the annual reports of the aid organization is enough to divine the dimensions of the problem.
Women who are abused and humiliated by their partner, therefore, for advice. Bullying victims. Prostitutes beaten and threatened by suitors. Women who were circumcised as a child. Mothers who want to spare their children this fate. Because the circumcision of girls in Germany is prohibited, many children are flown abroad to undergo the horrible procedure there.
Violence is also, if one partner the other verbal constantly reduce, says Söchting. "Violence does not start when it comes to physical abuse, and women who have such an experience and do not know what else to do can and should contact us as well."
more on the subject
Humiliated, abused, murdered womenMy partner, my tormentor
Domestic Violence "If I do not leave immediately, I will not survive here"
Violence in relationshipsDeserved, beaten, threatened with a knife
Victim of relational violence "He wanted to kill our son"
Domestic violence "Justice forces mothers to lie to their children"
Domestic violence "Men often beat out of helplessness"
Partner with Control In the end she was his prisoner
Especially in the evening from 18 clock is the telephone in Cologne rarely quiet, at night, especially many concerned. After work, when most people are home. The majority of the women who call were abused by their partner or ex-partner, says Söchting. Often this was a slow process.
"Many women talk about great love, but at some point that closeness tilts in. Often it starts with the partner sending dozens of sms: where are you, what are you doing, with whom, is it still interest or control?" For violence is mostly about exercising power.
The jealousy of the partner could ignite everything possible, says Söchting. Often it is about the circle of friends of the woman, the sports club, their professional successes Violent partners often want the total power of disposition over a woman. "