"Blank nest syndrome" .. Your departure from the home of your parents will hit them with psychological crises

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I wore my white uniform quickly and took my place next to the mental health doctor, who took part in a specific hospital work. The first tire of the door of the office was not sick. A general doctor came to take one of the patients with an urgent appointment, and the traces of anxiety were visible on her face. All we understood was that the patient was an elderly woman, survived last night from a suicide attempt at the hospital, and it seemed to her that the situation was in dire need of psychological follow-up, it was out of control, unable to act.

Minutes later, the doctor returned with a woman walking in a trance, trembling until she was unable to control her walk, a woman whose head shone with Chiba, her yellow face sad. She sat in front of us as she tried to catch her breath, and in a French language that spoke of her condition, fatigue, and pain. Then she went on talking about her life and her personal aches, as if she did not need questions as much as she needed to be listened to.

Her talk was based on things like loneliness, a sense of loss of value, low self-esteem, and the end of the role and mission in life. A talk about a vacuum she owned and caused her to depression to the point of committing suicide. Life for her is without taste, without value and without purpose, a life that lacks all the meanings that encourage her to stay, and she no longer has the strength to cry.

The children are grown up, married and deported, including the last of the gangs, who shaved away from their nest to where they can build a beautiful future at an American university. Yet they are still confused and worried about it despite their suffering. She was closest to her heart and filled all the space left by her husband after his death. Today she feels deprivation, loss and anxiety, today she feels that her family rejects her and life utters her! What do they do? She is no longer bear! Depression would not have happened without that deprivation.

Imagine holding your fetus in your belly for nine months, taking in the pulse of your heart and seeing it in your body, loving it, loving it and taking care of it even before you see it. You bear all kinds of pain for it, swinging with it right and north, spending the night and day swimming in daydreams. In which you fill with your bosom, you receive him by parties, follow all stages of his growth, hunger to eat, encroach on him, cool to keep him warm, to sleep, to heal, to take care of you, to take care of him, to hide him, To live, to learn, to succeed, but to move and happy, and in a moment to move away, and strengthen the wing flying. It's all back to you! You go back with things to zero; yes, but you can only go back to your first puberty with you, harassing you and harassing you at that age.

In many places of this world show the symptoms of grief, and crawl through the days in the house is no longer only with tears and sighs and aching words filled with pain, immediately after the silence of musical instruments and leave the invited and fold congratulations, and marry children and the establishment of marital homes, Some endings lead to the beginning, and from the beginning, the parents find themselves in front of a bar of memories like a mirage that sets old age on them, in front of walls of pictures, names echoed and electronic means of communication until depression becomes a companion of their unit and the address of their empty nest, A I heard the empty nest syndrome that may infect your parents without your knowledge?

What is an empty nest syndrome?

Empty Nest Syndrome is the feeling of sadness, loneliness, depression, loss, and deprivation that affects one or both parents as a result of leaving their children for the first time for reasons related to marriage, study or work, and usually feel after the child's last separation due to the large vacuum After they had occupied the place left by his brothers, and they are frequent with the mothers who are in the house, where it is difficult for them to face the situation and get used to life without children. This syndrome helps to trigger some physical illnesses resulting from psychological crises in which parents enter, as well as disrupting their relationships with others, and there are those who lead to addiction to alcohol and other harmful substances.

Symptoms of empty nest syndrome:

Sadness: Sadness is one of the most common symptoms of empty nest syndrome in parents. They are unable to cope with the changes that have taken place in their lives after the children are free of the house and are unable to resist the inevitable and inevitable longing.

Depression: Difficult to get out of the cycle of frequent sadness, pessimism, and mourning accompanied by bouts of crying, and dissatisfaction with the new situation, with the absence of support and psychological support, which makes them unable to control the negative emotions, and makes life in their eyes meaningless, And aimless, as well as aversion to their relationships, and the daily activities that they used to do and their entry into isolation.

Anxiety: Anxiety takes two forms here. It is fear and discomfort from the situation that the parents have experienced after the vacuum left by the children, and fear, confusion and anxiety for the children. For example, the mother finds herself thinking throughout her day whether she is happy or depressed, Tiredness, sleep disorders, appetite, and weight gain or loss.

The feeling of loneliness: Nothing breaks the hearts of parents as age advances, such as feelings of loneliness and the loss of parental privileges they enjoyed in their youth. The house becomes like a cemetery, and all the memories they have lived with their children become moments of pain that makes them feel isolated from the world. Who appoints them to the world after their absent children, and they are not as important as they were previously, which leads them to lower self-esteem.

The loss of the goal: the arrival of children to adulthood and independence from the patriarchal home parents feel their expiration, and their tasks where life becomes meaningless in them, and a deep gap within them, and a wound that makes them feel rejection, alienation, and creates a lack of desire to continue.

The emergence of some physical diseases: The psychological crises suffered by parents due to grief and anxiety, and depression resulting from the syndrome of empty nest in the explosion of a range of diseases, such as blood pressure and high rates of diabetes or decline, but can develop the situation to cause heart disorders, infectious diseases Due to negative emotions, changing dietary habits.

Marital differences: The sense of deprivation of the children of some couples may lead to the transfer of negative feelings to each other, and express rejection, and longing for your awareness through differences.

The absence of activities that distract parents from thinking about their absent children, distracting them from this vacuum, and compensating them for psychological deprivation may increase their sense of empty nest syndrome

Reuters

Causes of empty nest syndrome:

The causes of empty nest syndrome can be summarized as follows :
- The relationship of love and strong containment that binds parents to their children, life in an environment full of peace and affection makes the absence of one side from the other is very difficult and intolerable.

- The death of one spouse who leaves a large void in the heart and life of the other, and makes it unable to adapt to the loss, and tested again even in the absence.

- Troubled marital relations such as divorce, emotional divorce, which makes one spouse makes up for emotional poverty in his children, the attachment occurs as a complete conversion to the children, which makes their independence as a withdrawal from the relationship, resulting in psychological crises for the father or mother.

- The arrival of the mother to menopause and the accompanying psychological changes.

- Fear of losing the bond.

- Lack of social support from other parties such as relatives, which opens the way to psychological problems that are difficult to overcome later.

- Retirement and focus on the emotional crises that accompany it, where the individual becomes fragile and unable to bear more suffering, especially as the retirement period usually paves the way for aging and the accompanying feelings of death.

- The absence of activities that distract parents from thinking about their absent children, distracting them from that vacuum, and compensate them for psychological deprivation.

- The failure to prepare children to take responsibility, whether marital or self-care for children who have separated from the parental home to complete the requirements of study or work, which makes parents confused and constant concern them and the ongoing grief because of guilt.

- Lack of means to enable parents to communicate with their children.

- Lack of interest of children by their parents through their inspection, and express their mutual desire, which makes parents read this behavior as a kind of denial and denial.

- Children have transferred their personal problems to their parents continually since their first separation from the patriarchal home, which makes both mother and father in constant anxiety.

Treatment of empty nest syndrome:

- Revitalize the marital relationship again and return to the former as a young couple. Helping a child or hosting a foreign university student can help relieve pain, especially if the parents are able to do so.

- Continuous communication with children through advanced means of communication that allows them to stay in touch; voice and image.

- Frequent visits of children to the parental home, and the allocation of certain times and sufficient for parents, visit the visit itself a cure.

- Living with parents in one house or not far from them, and charity to them, especially if one of them left life, it is better to host the second in the house of one of the children for life, or alternating to it.

- Return to activities and hobbies.

- Emancipation of emotions, and express the feelings that parents feel and share with others to relieve the intensity of pressure.

- Psychological follow-up for parents who lost control of the syndrome.

- Preparing for the separation of children as a method of prevention, and planning to adopt a new lifestyle, to avoid absenteeism.